Never Ever

19| Striptease

The moment the Uber pulls up to the apartment, all hope of talking myself out of this vanishes. Noah's building towers above me like a flashing danger sign, warning me to take my tenuous self-preservation and go home, but like a fool, I ignore it.

I step out of the Uber and onto the cold, quiet street. A thick fog hangs low in the air, typical for San Francisco at this time but not exactly conducive to outdoor swimming. I pull my jacket around me and dash into the lobby.

"Good evening," the concierge says.

I smile at him en route to the staircase. "Good evening."

The lobby is empty, no sign of Natalia or Addy, which means they must already be in the apartment. I open the door to the staircase, about to run up the steps when a lack of common sense compels me to take the elevator instead.

It's a risky move – one that could end in disaster if I'm seen – but if I'm honest, part of me hopes that catching them together will snap me out of this spell he put me under. I'll see he was lying, that it wasn't so different with me after all, and I can finally focus on the only thing that matters: swimming.

The elevator indicator runs through the floors, inching ever close to Noah's. My heart pounds harder, a thumping fist against the walls of my chest. Now that I'm here, potentially seconds from detection, it hits me how much seeing them together would hurt. I hold my breath as the number reaches eight, stuttering momentarily as if the doors might slide open before continuing upward. 

By the time I reach the rooftop, it's almost eight. I step onto the patio and head to the gazebo, stripping to my swimsuit. It's chilly tonight, far colder than it's been all week, so every inch of clothing removed feels like torture.

Shivering, I fold my clothes and rest them on a lounger before turning around, surprised to find Noah in the hot tub. His eyes are closed, and he's reclining in the bubbling water, his muscular arms stretched out along the tub as the steam casts an ethereal haze around him.

As though he senses my presence, his eyes flick open and settle on mine. The cynic in me half expects Natalia's head to emerge from the water, caught in some lewd act, but as far as I can tell, he's alone.

I step closer, and Noah's gaze deepens, taking in my swimsuit. It's the tattered blue one I'd worn on the yacht – my others are in the laundry – and it's barely holding together, but you wouldn't know it to look at him; something about this swimsuit excites him.

I feel a blush creep up my neck when he reaches my thighs, resisting the urge to cover myself. Only on this rooftop, away from the world, will I admit that his gaze exhilarates me.

The thought elicits a strong desire to punish him. Not just for being stupid enough to follow this curse but for making me feel this way. For making me powerless. I was fine before I met him, happy to keep to myself, and now I'm a mess.

Ignoring him, I walk toward the shallow end, feeling his gaze follow me. The frigid water sends a chill through my body as I dip my toe in, followed by the rest of my body.

Despite the cold, it's a beautiful night. To my left, the city skyline stretches before me, the bright lights of the skyscrapers glimmering in the distance. I tilt my back my head, taking in the thousands of flickering stars, which somehow remind me of Noah.

Knowing he's watching, I turn to the deep end and start my first lap. It's strange – I've done this in front of him hundreds of times, but tonight feels different. Sexual.

I catch glimpses of him through stolen breaths, noting the rigidness of his jawline. His gaze is transfixed, trained on my body like I'm performing a strip tease, and what's worse is I'm enjoying it. Swimming faster, I feel my muscles tense and flex with each stroke. I make it to the deep end without a hint of panic, catching the glimmer of pride in his eye as I return to the shallow end.