Never Ever

37| Breakin' the curse

In the week I've spent debating what to do about the pills, the campus has transformed into a wonderland. Strings of twinkling lights cascade from every possible corner, and pine garlands twist around the sturdy trunks of the towering trees, reminding me it's almost time for exams and, more importantly, Cabo.

Obviously, I should've mentioned it by now – between our practices, studying, and constant sleepovers, I've had plenty of opportunities – but every time I go to ask, I chicken out, scared I'll rock the boat when things are surprisingly so good.

Now, it's too late. The Calbears' final meet before the holidays is tomorrow, and since the last thing I want to do is stress Noah out, I've decided to wait until after to discuss it, using today to focus on studying.

Addy, Nat, and I huddle around a library table encircled by laptops and to-go lattes to squeeze in last-minute exam studying. Except every attempt to focus gets derailed either by thoughts of Noah or discussions about Pax, who is adamant he's telling the truth about sleeping with Addy. At this point, I don't care who's lying; I just want the arguing to stop.

"Maybe he was so drunk he can't remember," Nat says, typing away. "But then that would mean he couldn't consent, so–" she looks up at Addy, "–yikes."

I glance at Nat as she sips her coffee, feeling like I haven't seen her in forever. Addy claims it's because she's been busy, but I'm sure she heard about Noah and me. Now, right before we have to share a room in Cabo, there's this awkward tension between us.

"Hey," Addy warns, shoving her arm, "he was barely tipsy and remembers exactly what happened. I just don't get why he's doing this. I never expected him to be that guy, you know?"

I do know. In ninth grade, a boy I was semi-nice to at a party once falsely told everyone we'd had sex. Luckily, no one believed him, but if he'd been more popular, more likable, they likely would have taken his word over mine in a heartbeat. To have it done by someone who you consider a friend, though, is something else entirely.

"I could interrogate Noah some more," I suggest, "but Pax is sticking to his story even with him, so I don't think it'll help."

As soon as I mention Noah, Nat stiffens and stops typing. She takes a long sip of her coffee while Addy and I exchange awkward glances, neither of us speaking.

"Okay, look," Addy says, pushing aside her laptop, "let's just take a moment to clear the air."

"Clear the air about what?" Nat says, but despite the easiness of her voice, her narrowed cat-like eyes suggest she already knows. And she wants to kill me.

Addy gives her a pointed look before scooting closer. "About the fact that Noah and Ever are doing whatever they're doing, and you're mad."

I nearly spit out my coffee and try to signal Addy with an "abort mission" look, but she pointedly ignores me.

"I'm not mad," Nat says.

"You look mad."

I sit here awkwardly, not knowing whether to chime in or stay quiet in case I make things worse. All I know is I'd rather take exams right now than have this conversation.

"Come on, Nat," Addy says when she doesn't answer. "Noah made it clear he's not into you like that, and you deserve someone who is. Now, we can either sit here blaming each other when it's nobody's fault, or we can suck it up in time for Cabo 'cause there's no way I'm dealing with this and the whole Pax situation."

A second passes. Then another. I'm getting ready to bail when Nat sighs, looking at me like Addy has a point. I hold my breath, waiting for her to speak. "Alright, fine," she says, turning to me. "So, are you guys, like, together now?"