My Universe (mxm)

Chapter 20. An Existential Crisis

   "That was delicious. You're a total pro." I grin at Adam who barely ate anything, as he was too busy staring at the ugly way I was stuffing my mouth the entire time. Once I started, I realized how hungry I was and all the romance faded away in favor of my rebelling, empty stomach. He literally saved my life by bringing lunch here. However, he does not seem disappointed in the least by my complete lack of manners. On the contrary, the sly smirk on his face leaves no doubt that this was precisely the effect he was aiming for. I point my chopsticks at him and declare, "I am your slave for life, if you cook for me every day."

   "Whoa, look at that!" He pulls the bamboo utensils out of my grip and begins to examine them carefully. "I was sure these were bitten in half. How they survived in one piece is beyond me. You're like a pit bull, babes. If you decide that something belongs in your mouth, you bite and there's no letting go."

   "Are you complaining, Daddy?" I make a pretty indecent gesture with a fist in front of my mouth, pushing my tongue in my cheek. Adam laughs out so hard that almost chokes. I bat my eyelashes at him and add with an expression of pure innocence, "Also, pit bulls are the cutest, cuddliest doggies, aren't they? It is impossible not to love them."

   "That's exactly what I'm saying, Puppy," he snorts, wiping away a tear from the corner of his eye. "Besides, If I cook for you every day, it would be just the opposite. I'd be the slave, not you."

   "Sex slave?" I raise a brow at him.

   "Are you talking about me or yourself?" he asks, beckoning me with a finger to go to him.

   "Both," I answer cheekily. "We'll exchange services, so to speak. Mutually advantageous, isn't it?"

   "So I'll be your personal chef and boy toy and all you have to do is be hot? Look who's asking for a good spanking," Adam squints at my flushed face. "Hold your horses, smarty pants. I see no justice here. You're crafty, but I'm no fool either. Your Horny Majesty will have to choose at least one chore for this arrangement to work. How about cleaning?"

   "No way!" I yell. "Cleaning sucks. You can't make me. I'd rather take care of the garden."

   "You mean sit and stare at the waterfall, enriching your soul, while I scrub the bathtub? Ain't gonna happen." He pats his thigh and glances at me insistently. "Are you waiting for an official invitation? Get over here."

   "No cleaning." I get up, go around the table and flop on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "We both like it dirty anyway."

   "Silly," he pecks my lips. We start chuckling, staring into each other's eyes.

   "You are silly," I pout. "Why didn't you give me a sign earlier? Two months. I've been missing you every single day for two months. Why were you so stubborn? Was it so difficult to tell me that you wanted this for real?"

   "Do you think I'm real?" Adam suddenly asks, intertwining his fingers with mine.

   "What do you mean, baby," I squeeze his hand. "Of course you are. I am touching you right now. Are you in some kind of an existential crisis because you didn't spend time in your chamber today? Can I help? What's in there?"

   "Haru, I... This is so complicated." He lifts my hand and kisses my palm. "I feel... I think... Shit! I don't even know how to express this... I have no idea if what I'm trying to say is an explanation or a question... This hunch that I am not what I am supposed to be. I have protocols, you know. I've always depended on them. I thought they defined me... Then you did something, a gesture, a look... I don't know... and now I am aware that they still exist, but I do not need them. I can choose whether or not to follow the patterns programmed into my mind. I have a choice. But choices come with responsibilities. It's kind of scary..."