𝓢𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵 | 𝓣𝓪𝓮𝓴𝓸𝓸𝓴 ✓

•11愛•

あ
Do you just like the idea of love?
______________________

JUNGKOOK—田柾國 •

The camping trip soon came to an end very soon after Taehyung's friends had their s'mores , they just decided that they were cut out for the great outdoors and gave up when the bugs kept pestering them.

Although Taehyung still stayed and told them that they were whining like idiots and told them to flee.

And now it's just us.

My heart kept rampaging like crazy and I kept waiting for the time he finally mentions about the flowers!

But the moment never came.

I looked at him as he was looking at the stars.I had a feeling he was avoiding me.

I still waited, even though I felt a pang in my heart.For some reason this silly thing hurt me.

"Did you see the flowers I've kept for you?"

I asked ,finally getting tired.

He avoided my question as I frowned a bit with discontentment but my ears perked when he replied unexpectedly.

" It was quite thoughtful of you to leave me forget-me-nots , but those aren't the kind of flowers you should be giving with a love letter."

He said.

I blushed in embarrassment.

" It's not a love letter."

I said immediately.

" Oh well then what was it ?"

He asked , teasingly.

" It's just a letter I wanted to give as a thank you , that's all."

I said, indeed that was why I initially asked Namjoon to help me write the letter.He too said that it sounded like it was from a lover.

"But what if it was a confession."

I said , I was joking.

He looked at me seriously, with an unreadable expression but something told me that it wasn't a good one.

"Well I guess you just like the idea of being loved."

And somehow that sentence irked me in some way.

"What do mean by that?"

I asked , not sure if he meant something else because when he usually said something, it never sounds the way he intends it too.

"I'm just saying that you just like the idea of love.

Like that kiss. You never really did it because you were actually in love.

You just like the idea of being in love and to be loved.

But I don't think you should be doing something like that again."

He said,

" I know that , these feelings are hard to control but they are temporary and they're all just in your head."

He told me , looking at me with an intense gaze.

Maybe it was all just in my head but I don't think he's really angry. It just looks like he's sad.

And now that I think about it. He spoke to me in a hushed tone. Not like he usually did when I did something wrong.

And for some dumb reason I smiled.

Although he smiled back , he asked " Why are you smiling?"

"If there's one thing I learned from your friend Jisoo , it's that people smile when you smile."

He laughed.

" I love you."

I said but he heard that.

He stopped laughing and looked at me frustrated.

"I told you that you can't just love anybody!"

He almost yelled.

"But you told me you love me too."

"That was because you didn't know how the world worked and by god's grace—atleast by now you should know that , it's not how it works."

" For goodness sake Jungkook you aren't a child! "

He yelled.

" I'm sorry I'm yelling at you now , I shouldn't have kissed you"

No

" nor have said that. Please let's just forget about this and go back to how we used to live."

I sniffled a bit and burst out crying. I didn't know if I cried because I've just been yelled at or if I feel hurt.

Maybe it was just both.I remember I cried so much that Taehyung just quietly watched not being able to say a thing. He just stood there feeling guilty but I knew that he probably thought that what he was doing was right.

Maybe this is all new to me but I've never been wrong about love. Although the waters of the sea I loved drowned me , I've never once despised it for what it did.

I know what love is. And I know how to love , when to love and who to love.

Maybe this was the very beginning of how I fell in love and how I made him fall for me.

Probably not the fall for me part.Because you don't have to set the world in fire in your first try.

But I'll never forgive him for belittling my feelings. Oh fuck my feelings, they can fade away but love is a choice, a commitment.

Those butterflies don't always remain like butterflies, soon they change into the feeling of home.