Back to Strangers

Chapter 3

Leah 

This dinner is going so much better than I had expected and I have to admit, this is the most fun I have had with a guy in the longest time. The joking, flirtatious comments here and there, the gentle hand touches, everything feels so new and exciting. Logan, really is an amazing guy and not at all what I had expected. He's kind, smart and really funny. I couldn't contain my laughter when he told me a joke he made at his cousin's wedding when he was giving his speech. I'm sure the whole restaurant heard me laugh.

He has dreams, goals and he know what he wants in life. That is more than I can say for myself, because truth be told, I have no clue what I'm doing with my life other than working, drinking wine and thriving in my loneliness. Money is no problem for me and I love what I do, but what does it matter when you have nobody to go to at the end of the day and share every little detail with. Nobody to laugh or cry with, to watch movies or go on walks with.

Nobody to love.

I see Logan's eyes widen and all the colour drained from his face. Confused, I follow his gaze to what he is looking at behind me and as soon as I turned my head, I wish with every part of my being I could rewind and not look. It only makes this real, but this can't be real, can it? Of course not, it's a dream, no – a nightmare – but none the less, it's not real. It just isn't possible. What will he be doing here anyway?

In that brief moment we made eye contact, I felt my whole world crumble. Every wall I put up, fell down as if four years of building it meant nothing. The sharp pieces of my heart, stabbing at my chest. I heard Logan clear his throat. "Leah, are you okay? You don't look so well." He genuinely looked concerned as he placed his hand on top of mine. I am at a loss for words. Am I dreaming? I look down at where his hand lay on top of mine and I slowly bring my eyes back to his concerned ones. I remove my hand in a way not to offend him.

"I'm fine, I just need to use the ladies' room, if you'll excuse me." I politely excuse myself and walk towards the bathroom on wobbly legs. I washed my face with cold water to make sure this is in fact happening and that I have not lost the last bit of my sanity. Fixing up my lipstick and mascara, I take a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. I leaned against the wall outside the bathroom for a minute or so, just to steady myself and there it was...a voice I haven't heard in four years. A voice that haunts me in my worst nightmares and invades my sweetest dreams. A voice I replayed in my head a thousand times just to remember what it sounded like, but over the years it started to sound like only the whisper of a ghost in my ears. The few words he muttered was enough to bring back every memory and all the pain. Every last bit.

"Leah, is that you?" was all he said, yet that was enough to break me all over again. How can he even ask me that. Was I so easy to forget? It's only been four years and I have definitely not changed that much, if at all. I felt the waterworks build up, but I refuse to show him just how much he broke me. So, I forced a smile and answered the only way I could.

"Sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else." With that I walked away to where Logan was waiting for me. He didn't follow me, but I could feel his eyes bore a hole in the back of my head. That was enough for me to forget how to walk as I suddenly tripped over my own damn foot. Luckily, I was at our table and Logan caught me as I landed on his lap. How fucking cliché!

"Leah, I think we're both finished eating. I already paid, please let me take you home. I can see you're not okay." My heart broke. Here is this amazing guy who I was getting to know, offering to take me home and all I can think about is Christian standing across the room, eyeing us with a heated stare. I couldn't find any sensible words so I only nodded before lifting myself from Logan's lap. Grabbing my purse that fell on the ground, where I should have been, if it weren't for this sweet human being.

We left the restaurant and walked in complete silence for a few minutes. I welcomed the silence, because I don't know what I would say or how I would even begin to explain why I suddenly acted like a spineless puppet. I appreciate that he didn't push for an explanation so I was the first to break the silence. "I am so sorry our night had to end like this."

He stopped in his tracks, causing me to stop too, he turned to face me and took my hands in his. His beautiful brown eyes could stare right into my soul and I'm afraid he won't like what he sees. "Nothing could ruin this night, Leah." He brought my left hand to his mouth and placed a tender kiss on it. "Besides, who said the night had to end like this?" he smirked and his eyes lit up with mischief. I couldn't help but smile at his comment and I could feel my face turn crimson. Was this what I needed to get my mind off Christian? To forget tonight, to forget him? Probably not and it wouldn't sit right with me using Logan like that.

Although, I did say I had to move on and even though I'm not sure where this thing with Logan will lead, I am more than willing to give it a try. To take a leap of faith. I will not go back to my past, because that is exactly where it needs to stay. I don't know what he's doing here, in New York, but he sure as hell need to pack his bags and leave. This city isn't big enough for the both of us.

I smiled at the Greek god standing before me and I took his hand as I lead him into a cab. Excited for where the night is going to lead once we step foot into my apartment, but I couldn't get rid of this feeling inside of me. This feeling that I am cheating. That's insane, Leah! He left you without any explanation, he didn't bother reaching out to you or contacting you in any way. You have been over for four years!

It's time to move on.

And yet, knowing all of the above, I still can't help but wonder...

Should I have waited a little while longer? Did he expect me to wait for him? Did he wait for me? Is this our time to be together once and for all?

With all these insane thoughts running through my head, I'm still heading home with Logan. This is it.

I'm moving on.

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What do you think about Christian & Leah's little encounter? 

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All my love, Charne x