The Keeper

Owen - Four

"I had a daughter." her words suck the air from my lungs. "Uh, what? When?" clearing my throat I take a small step towards her. She steps back. "Yes, a daughter. Her name is Sadie. She is four, and will be five on December ninth." -- "I don't even want to ask this...." before I can finish she speaks. "Yes." This is not how I pictured tonight to go.

"Umm. Uh..." words seem to be failing me. "Can I see a picture?" pulling her phone out of her pocket she flashes a photo to me. A round little face, with the bluest eyes, a dimple, and a brown ponytail on her head almost looks like a fountain. She looks just like my sisters. I gently take the phone out of her hand. Our fingers graze each other. "Sadie. Her name is Sadie?" she nods. That's such a sweet name for a sweet looking girl. "She looks like my sisters." Passing the phone back. Zoey wipes her eyes. "Owen, I know you are probably feeling a lot right now."

I step back I run my hands through my hair. It's longer than I like, I haven't had a chance to get a cut yet. "Zoey, I don't even know what to say...I feel like anything I say is wrong." Zoey closes the space between us. "This seems like a bad place to be discussing this news. Do you wanna meet up after? You need to go shake hands and do an interview." Nodding in a agreement "Yes I would like that."

Giving myself a pep talk to go back inside and turn off the shocked face. Come on man, you can do this. It's ok, she and you can discuss this later.

The evening goes well, the press all seemed happy I am here. Doing my best to push the life changing news in the back of my mind for now. The event has ended, waiting for Zoey to finish up I watch her every move. She is strutting around like she owns the place, finally noticing her hair and body. Her hair is shorter and a little lighter now, and her body is just as banging if not more. Heath comes over before he heads out. "Hey man, I'm sorry I didn't say anything." The fuck? "You knew?" he realizes after seeing my face that I didn't know that information. "Zoey didn't tell anyone but, myself and her friend Sarah about you. I only found out because I happened to be at Sarah's when Zoey came over. That's another story! Well, give me a call if you need to talk later."

Zoey looks up from her spot and nods. Signally she is ready to go. I set my drink down and walk to the door. Holding it open I follow her out. "Do you wanna come over? Sadie is with my friend for the night. We can talk." — "Sure. I didn't drive here, Heath picked me up. Can I ride with you?"

The ride to her place is quiet. The radio is filling the void of talking. After a few we arrive at her place. It's a nice neighborhood and nice townhouse, I think it's not too far from my new place. The yard is sparkling with the dusting of dew, there's a few toys scattered and bushes line the path to the door. She pulls in the garage. "Here we are. Come on inside." Stepping inside I see the evidence of a child living here. There are toys on the floor. She is picking them up as she walks into the house. She tosses them into a basket by the couch. "Sorry for the mess." — "It's ok." She tells me to make myself at home and she will grab some water, her voice quiets as she goes into the kitchen. The fridge opens and shuts. She enters the living room, this time shoe-less and hands me a bottle of water. I drink that water in one gulp. I'm suddenly parched.

"Ok, ask me anything you want." Before I speak I let out a breath I must have been holding in for awhile. Not sure where to start. I want to be upset but also understanding. "Owen?" she scoots closer to me. "It's ok. Want me to just tell you everything?" nodding to her question, she continues.

Zoey blows out a deep breathe and moves her legs under her so she's sitting sideways looking at me. "I found out twelve weeks after that night with you. I have something called PCOS it can affect your cycles and fertility. So when I didn't have a period it wasn't out of the ordinary. The shock finally wore off after a week. Everyone kept asking about her father. I didn't want you to think I was trapping you at all. I realize now, that wasn't fair at all. I'm sorry. We used protection but, I guess it didn't work well" she giggles a nervous giggle. "I understand your reasoning. I can't even imagine what you were feeling. That must have been a lot." She places her hand on my knee. "Heath and my friend Sarah are the only ones who know. Not even my Aunt and Uncle. Every time we played your old team I would find something else to do, so I didn't see you. After awhile it just seemed like this news would ruin your life. I figured you had found someone else, and this would have been a mess. Your social media never indicted but, that doesn't mean you don't have someone privately. Do you have someone?" shaking my head "Nope, I haven't. I got divorced before I met you. There hasn't been anyone since you." This confession shocks her. "Really?" I place my hand on hers. "Yep." She wraps her fingers in mine. "Me either. Nobody wants a single mom." With my other hand I push her hair behind her ear. "That can't be true." Her eyes shift down as if she's embarrassed.

"Anyways, the pregnancy and delivery went perfect. No complications. She is growing fast and is a happy girl, apart from the new terrible four year old sass. Sometimes the sass is out of control. I suddenly realize how awful it was of me to keep this from you...Gosh, Owen. I am a horrible person." Squeezing her hand to comfort her and myself. "Seriously Zoey, I understand, I won't lie I'm a little mad. But a little happy too." — "We can do a paternity test if you want."  That is probably a good idea. My agent would agree too. "Although she looks like my sisters. Can I see more photos of her?" She sits up from the couch and grabs an album from the book shelf in the corner.

She places the brown leather book on my lap. The cover has a small square photo of a ultrasound on it. I run my finger over the photo.

As I flip through the pages, it's more clear Sadie is definitely mine. She is also the perfect combo of Zoey too. The pages are full of snaps of the first year of her life. Her first steps. Her first teeth. Her first time trying food. All the things I missed. A kid is something I've never thought would actually happen. I thought it would be with Kelsey but that didn't happen.

I softly close the album and turn to Zoey. "She is beautiful Zoey. You did a great job. This all just makes me sort of sad I missed all the firsts. How can I be sad when this morning I didn't know about her." She doesn't speak but allows me to continue. "I want to be involved. I'm all in. I want to be there as much as you will allow. We can keep it between us if you want. You don't need to tell anyone if you're not ready." Her eyes are wet with tears. I can't tell if she's happy or sad. "I will let you lead this Zoey." I place my hands on her face, she leans into my hand. Her skin feels the same as it did all those years ago. She even smells the same. A citrus with a hint of mint. "Ok. That can be worked out. I think she would like you. Do you wanna come by tomorrow before breakfast? Or..." she pauses "Its late and you don't have a car, do you wanna stay over. I have a guest room. or I can drive you home." Carefully weighing my choices I decide I should stay. "There are actually some clothes of Heath's upstairs. He crashes here sometimes if he needs a break from his sister who he is living with." If I didn't know Heath I would be extremely jealous.

We are discussing our childhoods, our lives since we met and just having a good time. She tells me about her parents dying when she was young. I tell her about my ex-wife. We discuss my career, what led me to where I am. We talk about her life since having our daughter. After cramming years of info into a short time, we are pretty tired. It's been an emotional day. Me staying over, doesn't mean I wanna sleep with her, I would be a liar if I didn't say she wrapped around me didn't cross my mind. I shoved those images away. I have a daughter. Holy fuck.