The Keeper

Zoey - Eight

Four years and twelve weeks ago...

Longest five minutes of my life. Standing over the sink staring at this stupid stick. The timer icon is flashing, flashing and flashing until it finally stops. Holy shit. I didn't even think I could be pregnant. I've always had wacky periods due to PCOS. So the fact I was ten weeks "late" wasn't shocking. I have maybe four periods a year. That little screen says in bold letters PREGNANT.

I am losing my mind. How am I pregnant? Owen and I used a condom. Oh. My God. Owen. — Unable to really grasp this news, I proceed to take four more. All say the same thing "Pregnant" I take my pregnant ass and run down to Sarah's she and I live in townhouses only three houses apart.

My fists bang on her door over and over "SARAH JANE OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!" No answer yet. "I'm coming in. You better not be doing it with someone on the stairs." I open the door as she is running down the stairs wrapping her robe around her waist. Right behind her is Heath. "Zoey what the hell is wrong?" Heath slams into her at the bottom of the stairs "Shit!" — "Zoey what's wrong??" the tears fall.

Sarah grabs me and ushers me to the kitchen island. She's snapping at Heath to get me some water or something. "Ah! Fuck! Is this a water or hard liquor moment. I'm thinking hard liquor." My tears stop for a moment to say the words "Water. I'm pregnant." Heath drops the bottle of tequila he was holding. Sarah gasps. "Yep. Pregnant. I took four tests. See...I slide them across the island." Sarah speaks louder than necessary "Holy fucking shit!" I see Heath lean over her shoulder to look. "Good thing I wrapped up last night, huh Sarah?" She smacks his bare chest. "Shut up, you asshole."

"We also wrapped it up..." — "You guys, what the hell am I gonna do? I don't even have his phone number. He lives in California. It was one night. One!" Sarah sits next to me and rubs my back "I'm sure you can find his number..." shaking my head "What if these are wrong and I'm not really knocked up." Even after I say it I know it sounds ridiculous.

"Babe, I can get his number if you would like?" Heath offers help. "I'm friends with a guy on the Breakers." He doesn't wait for my answer before he begins tapping away on his phone. After I watch Sarah and Heath clean up the broken bottle of tequila. Heaths phone dings. He taps away and then mine dings. Here is his number. "Now my life changing news is out there. Can we please talk about what ever this is?" I motion between the two of them. The both look at each other and laugh. "Well...." They both pause "Alcohol." A laugh escapes my throat. "You better be careful. That's how this happened." I motion to the sticks on the counter, while chugging my water.

It's been a week since I took those tests. A week of coming to terms with this news. A week of attempting to call or text Owen but I chicken out each time. I eventually deleted his number. A week of trying to figure out how to tell my Aunt and Uncle. I even went to the doctor for a blood test and they confirmed what the sticks told me. One hundred percent pregnant. I'm going to be a single mom at a twenty-five. I always wanted kids, sort of thought I would be married first or at least have a boyfriend. It took me some time to talk myself into the idea of me being a single parent. Sarah assured me I would never be alone. I can do this. I can do this right?

Telling my Aunt and Uncle went better than expected. I should have know they wouldn't have been upset. They were nothing but supportive and offered help in anyway the could. They asked about the father. I told them he wasn't involved and that was 100% ok with me. I could do this. I could be a single mom, besides I'm not alone. I have friends and family. My memories of my own parents are all happy ones. I was blessed with two loving parents, I hope my child knows I will love them with all my heart. Losing my parents at a young age was rough. Sure, Aunt Maisy and Uncle Jack were there and have been there for me. I never want my child to feel alone. I will do everything in my power to make that not happen.

Eight weeks later....

My belly has popped out. I noticed yesterday when I was getting ready for work. I officially had to tell others. Walking into the arena I was greeted by several friends. They all congratulated me and not one asked about the father. Thank goodness.

Sitting at my desk, a soft knock on the door tears my attention from the computer. "Come in." Sarah comes walking in with a large strawberry shake from In-n-Out. My current obsession. "Hell yes. You are the best!" Taking a huge sip as she sits. " You are welcome. The kids always look at me crazy when I say to fill the large cup please.....How are you today?"—"Look!" Standing up she sees the bump that I am pushing out, while still sucking my milkshake. She jumps out of her seat and rounds my desk. Her hands cradle my stomach. "Oh my gosh, Zoe Zoe. Look at it!" I love my best friend she has been my rock during this pregnancy. I'm currently twenty weeks. The morning sickness has finally relaxed. She's been the one holding my hair when I puke kind of like in college when we would drink too much, the one forcing me to eat, the one bringing me my cravings and the one who offered to move in with me. I would be lost without her.

Sarah leans against the desk while I go back to my shake. "Girl, I saw Heath when I was parking. The damn idiot drives me crazy but, he's super looking hot lately." Her comment makes me laugh. "I would sure hope so since you are hooking up weekly." They have some sort of weird love hate relationship. I don't even wanna know.

"He mentioned they are heading to San Francisco tonight for their game tomorrow evening." Her pause tells me what her next words will be "Have you thought about going and maybe finding Owen?"I take one more large sip. "I have thought about it. Heath thinks I should, I was gonna send someone to cover for me but, maybe I should." — "Zoey I think it doesn't hurt to at least try. I know you are a bad ass mama and will be able to handle this alone but, what if he will step up?" This is something I've been replaying in my head for weeks. What if he would? What if he is the good guy I think he is.

"I gotta go, I have an appointment with that crazy old woman I told you about, she wants her entire living room to be cow print, not classy but the black and white print." She rolls her eyes as she places a kiss on my head. Before leaving she pats my tummy "Bye Baby, Auntie loves you"

Pushing my fears aside I decide to go with the team and attempt to find him. Boarding the plane my Uncle smiles and is surprised to see me. "Hi baby girl. Nice surprise!" — "Yo! Mama come sit with me" Heath hollers to me. Some of the guys laugh, and a few pat my tummy. It doesn't bother me, some even think it's a good luck thing now. These guys all have weird things that they do before each game. Heath eats the same meal and does the same amount of jumping jacks.

He helps me stick my bag in the bin overhead. I slide in to the window seat. "You are doing it huh?" Giving him a shrug "I guess so." He pats my tummy and tells me it will all be ok.

The flight was quick and the whole time Heath kept me busy with games on his iPad and complaining about Sarah not wanting to be exclusive.

Once we have checked in to the hotel some the guys wanna go out to eat. I tag along. When the team travels they live the high life. Fancy restaurants and people showering them with anything they want. I get all dressed up, something I haven't done in months. I step out of my room and some of the guys see me and all whistle, as I give them a little turn. Soaking up the attention. "Well, fuck me Zoe. You look sexy." Heath hugs me. My dark red dress hugs my body, showing the bump off and my nude heels make me feel like my pre-pregnancy self. We end up at a pizza place but, it's just not a casual one it's fancy with cloth table coverings, candles on the tables, and patrons dressed up nice. We're eating and enjoying each others company when we hear a rise in the volume of people talking. Sort of how it was when we walked in. My head turns to the door. I see a few of the Breakers players. "Fuck!" Heath and I say at the same damn time. "Maybe he isn't here." After he finishes his sentence, I see him. He is wearing gray fitted pants, a black button up tucked in and his hair freshly cut. He looks so damn hot. I shift to stand and he turns to reach for someone. A skinny blonde haired knock out. She is stunning. Her blue dress hugs her just right. He doesn't hold her hand but let's her go in front. He has a huge smile on his face. "Shit!" Heath mutters behind me. I'm frozen. I need to leave before he sees me. I don't even say anything when Heath is ushering me to the back door.

The cab ride to the hotel is silent until I speak "It's ok. What did I expect?" Heath doesn't say anything I just hear typing. A second later my phone rings. Sarah. "Hi." — "Girl, don't freak. It's ok. Maybe it's a friend. You still need to try to tell him." — "No, this would ruin his life. I don't need him. We're at the hotel. I'll call you tomorrow." Before she says bye I hang up.

The next day I fly home and my replacement flies in. I delete this number for good and decide right there I will do this alone.