Crimson Rivers

Chapter 12

Once, years ago, Lily told Remus these exact words: Remus, you can't keep doing things you know won't end well and expect them to end any other way. At the time, she was quite upset with him and also in the middle of treating the wounds on his back, and he was just a tad bit delirious from the pain, but the words had weight to them. Weight that he let roll off his (injured) back.

That would come back to haunt them both in the end, because Remus did, in fact, keep doing things he knew wouldn't end well as if the results would be different, and they never were. Well, until they were. Different results didn't mean better, though, which he learned the hard way-blood under his nails and Lily's desperate gasps for air ringing in his ears. You'd think, after all of that, he wouldn't make the same mistake.

Remus knows that this, with Sirius, isn't going to end well, not really. At the very least, they're both going to get very hurt, and that's genuinely the bare minimum of what they can expect. There's also a very real risk of being tortured, or killed, or both, or worse. It's actually foolish of them to be doing what they're doing, what they've been doing from the start, and nothing can really come from it. It's not proper, and Remus shouldn't.

As established, Remus isn't good at being proper, or doing what he should. He never has been.

Sirius looks rough when he comes into the kitchen, like he didn't get much sleep. Remus hates that he couldn't stay with him last night. Eventually, he did have to return to his cell, which left Sirius alone with...literally so much stress that Remus can hardly fathom it himself. It's visibly weighing on him, leaving him with exhaustion in the lines of his face and a slumped slope to his shoulders.

Even still, Sirius comes to a screeching halt, a spark entering his eyes when he sees Remus, and he breathes out, "Oh. Hi."

"Hi," Remus replies, lips twitching. "Are you hungry?"

"Not at all," Sirius admits.

Remus hums. "Too bad. You hardly ate yesterday, or the day before that, and I've already made breakfast. Sit."

Sirius sits, blinking at Remus as he moves over to sit a plate down in front of him. Again, he says, "Hi."

"Hi," Remus repeats, smiling again before turning away to go get his plate, joining Sirius at the table right across from him. Sirius doesn't move, just staring at him, and Remus raises his eyebrows as he points his fork at him. "Eat."

"Right. Thanks," Sirius mumbles, picking his fork up. He dutifully takes a bite, and they eat in silence for a while. Remus is just glad he is eating, so he doesn't plan to interrupt. Sirius does, eventually. "You, um. You didn't wake me up."

"I do recall being told I wasn't an alarm clock," Remus says lightly, and Sirius smiles weakly. "I thought I'd let you sleep in without disturbing you, and you needed breakfast."

"We could have made breakfast together," Sirius points out, almost petulant about it. He heaves a sigh and puts his fork down when Remus stares at him. "I just-I mean, obviously you don't have to do anything, and you're not an alarm clock, but I won't lie and say I didn't like waking up to you. I don't want-" He halts, then swallows. "I'm going to be busy a lot over the next few days, and I won't be here very much, so I'd like-well, if you want the same thing, and you're okay with it, I'd like to spend as much time with you as I can."

Remus takes that in for a long moment, then nods. "I get that. I was just hoping you were getting some sleep, honestly."

"Not really," Sirius murmurs. "Not good sleep, in any case."

"What's your plans for the day?" Remus asks.

Sirius grimaces. "I have to meet with other various mentors, sponsors, and gamemakers for the daily watch party. It's where I'll be trying to make Regulus and James' time in the arena less difficult. I won't be able to-well, I have to act like I'm...just alright with everything, so it's going to be fucking awful. I'll be out all day, most likely, then make it back here in the evening."