Sorry a Lil short the school week is starting tomorrow.
Mikeys pov
Waking up in my room staring at the ceiling and rubbing my eyes groaning. Getting up exiting my room as my heart still racing from the events from yesterday, I suppose I woke up late because raph headed towards me stopping me from entering the bathroom "Hey leo and Splinter is waiting for you in the dojo, me and donnie thank ya for canceling training" he chuckles walking past me. I enter the bathroom turning the water onto scolding as the steam fills the air.
Looking at myself in the mirror but it didn't quite feel like it was me that I was looking at the steam hit the mirror fogging it up till I couldn't see myself. Stepping into the shower and putting my head on the wall breathing threw my mouth maybe I should stop being a baby and suck it up that was a good thought...I think? Kinda passive aggressive there just thoughts we can do it I smile at myself with a bit more hope in myself, getting out the shower and exiting the bathroom slowly at my body shrinks walking toward the dojo.
opening the door as eyes turn towards me Standing in the doorway "Michelangelo come inside please." Splinters voice echoed in my head slowly closing the door behind me and taking a seat a few feet away from my brother as we share a glare "I believe we all know why we are here today" looking up at Splinter with dull eyes it's ok the "good" voice in my head shushed my bad thoughts.
"Michelangelo do you care to explain why you hurt your brother so badly?" Looking at the ground with a moment of silence, taking a glance at leo, slowly shaking my head "I don't know" I said a little under a whisper balling my fist looking at my knees "you also started attacking me do you know why?" Shaking my head again I replied "I don't know........I was....angry" with my voice a little shakey "we do not hurt family to that extent when we are angry, this is very unlikely of you I can't help but to be worried"
He just keeps pushing doesn't he? What....he needs to hurt......these these where bad thoughts, thoughts I need to push down....but I couldn't they just keep growing and the violent images of my family dead by my hands keep flashing. Shaking violently I stumbled my way out the dojo slamming the door and running towards the lab "Donnie are they done please tell me there done" I huffed out from the loss of breath.
"Yea it should be just right" he hands me 2 for testing and I swallowed "did they work I can't tell if they worked" I said waiting for something to kick in, I need to feel something "do you feel violent?" Donnie asks me handing me a jar of pills "no" I smile at myself looking at the jar "good, but I do suggest that you do things that make you happy and maybe write in a journal" I like drawing and writing if I'm not told to so what the shell that could be fun.
Laying in my room drawing I noticed something missing, nothing is physically missing in my room but I feel like there's something missing in my emotions, like violence was what was keeping me alive but I don't want to be violent, is this a violent thought?. Getting up and reaching for the jar in my desk I take 2 more.
Then 4 more
Then 8
