Moonstruck ⟡ HS

28

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link: bit.ly/3KdVlbh
MOON SONG | PHOEBE BRIDGERS
PRIDE | KENDRICK LAMAR
YES TO HEAVEN | LANA DEL REY
LOVE WILL TEAR US APART | JOY DIVISION

"Fuck!! You!! Bitch!!"

As soon as the voicemail ends, he lets the phone slip from his grasp and clatter against the wall, still connected to the cord to keep it from hitting the ground, albeit he wouldn't care. All he could think about was how angry Josephine sounded, how furious and totally unhinged she sounded—he's never heard anything like it, and from her point of view, he can't exactly blame her. If everything was flipped and he saw her bringing home someone else, he wouldn't leave a voicemail, but would have ran a rampage through her house and beat the hell out of whoever she brought home. But Josephine handled her pain differently, through raging voicemails.

"Oh, my God . . ." He mumbles to himself, hanging his head low while sliding down the wall while the phone swings back and forth. He rubs his eyes, and then rubs the sides of his head to try and alleviate the unruly headache pounding through his skull. His heart was racing, mind scrambled while trying to remember the night before in order to prepare an apology for Josephine, although just thinking about seeing her in person was starting to worry him. She sounded so angry, so hurt and in pain, he's never heard her like that and he didn't know what he would need to do in order to get back on her good side—if I even have a chance, he thinks to himself pitifully.

He takes a shower next, needing the scalding hot water to melt him anew, although that was only a hope. He stares at the tiles along the floor as the water beats down on his back, drenching him head to toe, and even when the water got too hot for him, his attention never parted ways from his jumbled mind, going back and forth between what he needs to do and what he wants to do. Getting on all fours and begging to Josephine is most likely to get him back in her good graces, especially after what she thought she saw the night before, but he's done that before. He wants progress, he wants to grow and become better for her, and maybe begging for forgiveness is apart of that process, but he wants to come out of the situation new and improved—not for himself, but for Josephine.

She was good in the most sincere form of the word. If everything else in live was disproven, he knew he could count on Josephine being good. Purity and kindness would live within her until the day she died, and he finds it heartbreaking that he pulled that kind of rage out of her, knowing it's not one of his brightest accomplishments in their relationship. He corrupted her, tainted her mind and heart with his stupidity once again, and he needed to make it right. He needs her to be good again, happy and jolly Josephine, because if she wasn't he would have nothing to believe in anymore.

When the water begins to run cold, he finally snaps out of his daze, turning to shut off the water and then he grows even colder. He shakes out his hair, carelessly dries his body off and wraps the towel around his waist as he steps out of the shower. He drags his palm against the mirror, wiping off the fog that had collected along the surface, and carefully uses some eye drops and puts his contacts back in while noticing his eyes were a bit red from sleeping with his contacts in the night before. He shakes his head at himself, wondering how many mistakes he could make in one night, and exits the bathroom.

The sound of a car starting draws his attention as he makes his way through the house, causing him to peer out a window to see Josephine getting into the passenger side of Johnny's car. With one look, he could see how much his actions had placed a physical effect on her, seeing the unnatural puffiness to her eyes and a red tint along her nose—he felt sick to his stomach. He felt confident in the fact that Josephine was the love of his life, the only woman he would ever love within his existence, and whether or not he was the same for her, it didn't matter much to him. Whether he was by her side or looking from afar like he was now, his heart would always pinch for her and it's something he will always have to live with.