DREAMS - [Kakashi x Reader One-shots]

Starting new (2/3)

(art from @216kazu10 on Twitter)

As soon as she saw him her whole body froze in panic. Her first reaction was to run away into the archive room behind her desk and hide there until he was gone. However, right before her body could react he moved his eyes from the floor to her own eyes, and again she felt another wave of pain and embarrassment.

"Hey..." he started, as uncomfortable as she was. But she couldn't hold his gaze as she feared that she might break again like last night. Seeing him usually hurt her as it was, but after being rejected so directly and coldly, with complete silence... she just wanted to disappear and come back when Kakashi had forgotten about her words, or even better, her whole existence. But instead, he was there "Can we talk for a moment?" he added after her silence. She looked away, biting her lip.

"There's nothing to talk about, really," she rushed, really not wanting to prolong her suffering any longer "I understand. It was stupid of me and I promise I'm almost over it already" she lied, but he didn't know that.

"You are?" he asked, now being him the one to feel slight hollowness on his chest. Because as much as he had tried to go on with his life as if nothing happened, he wasn't able to stop repeating her words and image in his mind.

When he read his books, he couldn't help but feel as if he wanted what the characters had for himself. He read about couples that were madly in love, that would nap together, kiss tenderly, and drift to sleep in each other's arms... He wished he had someone like that too, a woman that also whispered sweet nothings into his ear, whom he could cuddle with. But then, if he thought about actually doing those things with a person, he cringed. He didn't like it as much, and he didn't see himself doing any of that. He didn't think he could hold someone's hand, or have someone kissing him. But if he thought about (Y/n) in that position... he didn't cringe that much. And after creating that image in his mind, he wasn't able to get rid of it anymore.

It was a battle between his until-now-hidden feelings —now not wanting to be hidden anymore —and the way he had always lived, what he was used to and comfortable with. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to tell her actually, but he had to do it because now that she had said she was over him he was certain he did not want her to. But if she was... he would take that too. He was too much of a coward to do otherwise, too used to loneliness to change it.

"I—" she stuttered after his question. Because as much as she would like to answer with a yes, she simply couldn't lie to him "I will be, don't worry" she tried to smile through the pain in hopes it wouldn't make her look so pitiful.

But Kakashi's heart sped up. He wasn't sure of what she meant, but if it meant she was still in love with him... the thought scared him almost as much, especially when he thought of his joke of a plan.

"Can we talk somewhere else?" he managed to say, feeling that perhaps if they had this conversation somewhere more private he would get the courage to actually talk. Or at least have clearer thoughts and a clearer idea of what he wanted. But she hesitated, she didn't quite want to. She had already been hurt, she didn't want to keep being hurt. But again, she couldn't say no to him, especially when he looked at her with those dark eyes of his.

So, in the end, she made a sign with her head to follow her to the archive room behind her. Once there, where her colleagues of the Analysis Team weren't able to pry on their conversation, she signaled him to sit down on the only chair there was while she remained standing, leaning far from him against one of the many selves. He sat down, but leaned forward, nervously playing with his gloved hands while he still tried to figure out what he wanted and what he should say. And as anyone should, (Y/n) didn't take her behavior as something good, and so, foreseeing something bad was coming, she crossed her arms to embrace herself.