"My Forever"💞✨

Chapter 3: Mistake

Seb POV: We were at k-bbq and i couldn't help but think that Ryan was still mad at me from last time. He kept ignoring me when. When i tried to talk to him he just acted like he didnt hear me and he just kept talking to Justin about how dogs are better than cats💀. I was starting to feel upset mostly sad but upset. I finished my food and tried to join in the conversation with Ryan. All i said was "yeah dogs are better bro."

Ryan: No one is even talking to you Seb, dont join in conversations that dont have to do anything with you. Thats why no one likes you, ur so fucking annoying bro.

Ouch. Everyone was looking in shock. While he was looking at me dead in the eyes with his cold gaze. I just looked at him with saddened eyes watering slowly. I felt the lump in my throat...
I just looked up, closed my eyes for a second to stop the threatening tears from falling down my eyes and excused my self to the restrooms. Except i didnt go to the restroom. I had my car keys with me since i drove with some of the boys to the place so i grabbed my keys out my pocket as i headed outside from the door at the back of the k-bbq place next to the bathrooms and i opened the door to my car and drove off putting on some music. I tried to hold in my tears but i couldn't as soon as i started to drive off my tears started to fall from my eyes i was crying a lot my vision was slightly blurry and i was a sobbing mess. As soon i got home i went straight to my room..or well me and ryans room i slammed it shut and locked it as i sat on my bed having a breakdown.

Ryan POV: After i said that to Seb i immediately regretted it as i saw the look in his eyes it made me so sad. It broke my heart to see Seb almost cry like that..just because of me. He said he needed to use the restroom and as i was about to head there to talk to him and apologize but Justin, sitting beside me, grabbed my arm and sat me back down.

Justin: dont..he needs his time....you hurt him.. real bad this time ryan..

He said that as he looked at me with the most disappointed face. And yes i have hurt him in the past but we would always play around like that and i have never hurt him this much he knew i never meant anything i said but this time....idk about this time..i put on a face as if i meant it.....as if i meant every single little word i said. And of course i didnt i never meant to hurt him.

Darren: bro wtf was that about! Wtf is wrong with you he literally did nothing to you and you just goin to act lika bitch!

Kane: yeah that was fucked up bro..

Oliver: bro thats my fuckin brother dont ever fucking talk to my brother like that. Ever. Again. You may think he's annoying and childish and this and that but that doesnt give you the fucking right to talk to my brother like that. Thats just fucked up

Regie just stayed quiet watching everything and Manger ty left early for a meeting apparently.

Ryan: im sorry i didnt mean it i actually didnt idk it just came out i was mad and i guess i took it out on him...but i didnt mean anything..

Regie: well you better say that to him cuh, cuz you know dudes a hella over thinker and is probably in the bathroom crying and thinking you fucking hate the shit out of him now.

I excused myself and walked to the bathroom. I would have ran but i didnt want to cause a scene so i didnt and i just walked fast.
I headed into the bathroom and called out for seb , but there was no answer. I checked the whole bathroom and realized he wasnt in there. I again walked out the bathroom trying to stay calm but i was already shaking and my breath was getting heavier. I sat down at the tables with all the boys looking at me( i still had my expressionless face.)

Oli: soooooo

Ryan: hes..um....hes not...in there...

Olis face turned into a shocked and worried face.

Oli: what...? What do you mean hes not in there

Ryan: exactly how it sounds hes not in there

Justin had noticed that my anxiety had started up and i was just thinking if they will blame me or if they are mad at me me i was just overthinking in general. Justin put his hand on my shoulder and said "its okay bro. Let your emotions show for once. We know you care about him deeply and not like the rest of us. There is no need to hide your emotions let them show let them see your weak spot its okay." I just questioned "what did he mean i care about him deeply and different from the rest of them."

Oli: well wtf are we waiting for! Lets go to the house first to see if hes there

We leave with paying and we drive straight home all squished since there wasnt enough space. As we got hom Oli didnt even wait till the car was parked he went straight into the house and checked the whole house in a matter of seconds to find no one there.

Sebs POV: After spending some time in my room i realized that the boys may have noticed me gone and since i didnt want to see them ESPECIALLY Ryan i left. I went to the beach and i packed some clothes. Two outfits to be exact and some other stuff. I was gonna stay at a hotel. I was gonna try my best to avoid Ryan. If he doesn't want to see me and thinks im annoying and if he doesnt like me then fine I'll stay away from him. So i headed off to the beach. It was a pretty much secluded space since there wasnt much to do on this side of the beach and no one really knows about it so when i found it i started going here more often as a way to relax and do whatever. I was sitting close to the water with my towel on the sand. I love going here to think its where i mostly think about Ryan.

Oli POV: i went back downstairs as they boys looked at me with a worried face.

Regie: is he here?

Oli: no. Everyone start looking!

I was on the verge of tears. Regie saw me and came up to me and gave me a hug. "Its going to be alr love." He whispered (They aren't dating but they like each other) That made me instantly calm down and we started to look for him.

Author POV: it was starting to get late and the boys were starting to get tired. Seb was at the hotel getting ready to go to bed. The boys went back to the house not being able to find Seb wondering where he was, if he was safe, did he eat, what was he doing and stuff like that. Seb on the other hand he went got a bunch of drinks and he headed to a building. ( i know technically he isn't allowed to drink cuz he's under age but lets just pretend he got them somehow) He was super drunk sitting at the edge of a tall building wondering stuff about his life and other's life such as Oli, Regie, Darren, Justin, Kane, and of course Ryan his precious ryan. He still couldn't stop thinking about him. He started wondering what it was he was feeling whenever he's around him. He knew. He knew exactly what it was actually. But he was in denial, he didnt want his family to be disappointed, what about his friends, what about Oliver. He didnt want Oliver to be disappointed in him just because he likes the same gender as him. He wouldn't be able to face Oliver. 

______________Time Skip____________

Author POV: Seb finally decided to go home after a while of calming down. He was sober enough to drive so he drove back to the hotel once again getting ready for bed since he did not plan to go out another time and he plopped on the bed. "Fuck this....im done with this bs....im done" He thought looking up to the ceiling tears again coming out his eyes as if they were a faucet. He soon fell asleep, crying himself to sleep.

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1422 words
Is this actually good? I feel like its not good but should i continue? Idk 🤷‍♀️but i hope you had/have a great day and I'll update the next chapter soon hope you enjoyed. Byee💗