Shadow Prince [BL]

chapter [12]

Dorian's POV

It was strangely hard to breathe and every time my chest raised, a burning sensation went through my body.
Had it been days, weeks? I couldn't say how long I've been laying in this bed continously switching between conscious and unconsciousness. The pain that tormented my body was tiring to the point I would have agreed to anything to make it stop.
But needing to endure it without even having the strength to move any muscle was like torture.

I opened my eyes once again realizing how my head had began to clear. The burning sensation was only slightly there right now and I could finally let out a sigh of relief.

"Ilayda..." my voice sounded weird in my own ears when I called the girl who was sitting on the bed with her back turned to me.

"Your highness!" She jumped up at my words and when I saw the troubled look on her face I wondered if I had actually been close to death.
So this was the price I had to pay for trying to break the curse? Being in pain to the point of dying when my heart began to unfreeze. At that point... was I even meant to break the curse... or would it actually kill me in the end?

"You've been out for 3 days. I've taken care of you the best I could but I- I thought you wouldn't make it..." Ilayda's voice quieted down when she helped me sit up and offered me a glass of water.
I grinned half heartedly.

"As the prince of the Fairy Queendom I feel offended to hear my friend gives up so easily on me" I took the water and emptied the glass. Ilayda expressed guilt in her face, not being able to joke around in a situation like this.

"Where is Vael?" I wondered when not spotting the brown haired boy anywhere. He must have been worried sick about me, right?

"You should finally stop chasing after him, Your Highness. He left." Ilayda answered in a mixture of guilt and seriousness. She took a bottle of potion and urged me to drink it in order to recover my strength. However, I didn't take it... there was something wrong here.

"Why would you say that? I need him to break the curse. Didn't you see-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence when Ilayda's green eyes began to sparkle dangerously. She rarely interrupted me but if she did, it meant she was dead serious.

"What I saw is that he almost killed you! Do you want to risk your life to get your way with some demon's child?! You have never taken such risks!" Her chest rose and fell quickly with her breathing and at listening to her words, something in my head snapped.

"What are implying by that...?" I slowly wondered and she let out an agited sigh.

"We don't know how powerful he actually is nor what he did before we met. I know it seems unlikely but we can't know if he isn't actually connected to rumors about the Dragon King's son rising up from the darkness! You should not waste your emotions on someone who might betray you!"

"You wouldn't understand how it feels, Ilayda. Seeing others falling in love and being happy because of it while knowing that I can never relate to any of it. Wanting to feel nervous or excited in someone's presence. Waiting for my heart to beat faster when someone pretty hugs me. Going as far as risking your life out of your own free will for the one you love... I can't do it... any of it. And it upsets me to see others so indulged into the feeling of love while my heart will always stay cold." We held eye contact and her eyes softened a little. Yet she stayed indifferent.

"Love makes us vulnerable. It is a weakness and causes the greatest pain." She coldly answered and I knew what she said was right... and yet love was like a drug. You knew about its dangers but after experiencing it once, it was easy to get addicted.

"I don't care. The way Vael shakes up my heart made me realize that I can not live with this curse my whole life. A man without food will forget about his hunger and stop feeling the pain in his stomach after a while... he will only realize how hungry he was when he bites into an apple and then it'll make him crave more." I used this metaphor that I had come across in a human story book once because it held a lot of value.