Sex & Drugs & Dungeons & Dragons

DUNGEON LEVEL C: Escape from the Constables of Carnage

"Three months?! But that's the whole summer!" exclaimed Cobi in dismay right before he shoved a slice of jalapeno pizza into his mouth.

The Pizza Hut wasn't empty like it had been Sunday night. Saturday was an evening of booming business it seemed, with both teens and adults stopping in to order pizza pies. The orders were all to-go, however, so while they kept Hope busy, they didn't really bother the boys, who had the dining area mostly to themselves.

"I know, that's what I told them," Griffin replied miserably, "but they didn't care. In fact, I kinda think that was the whole point."

"Who cares what your parents say," opined Derek, before Tony could respond, "just play anyway. That's what I do."

"Wait," asked Griffin, "your parents don't let you play?"

Derek shrugged like it was no big deal. "My dad thinks it's weird."

"But he's got all those toy soldiers," Cobi pointed out. "Isn't that kind of weird?"

Derek shrugged again. "I guess not, 'cause they're old. They're nostalgic or antiques or something." Derek looked around at everyone. "Come on, it's what we were gonna do with Gencon, anyway, right? Pretend like we were camping but really drive up to Milwaukee? Just extend the lie to all summer long."

"But we can't pretend we're camping all summer long," Tony moaned. "Where are we gonna play the rest of the time? Can't play at one of our houses, 'cause our parents will narc. Can't play at school, 'cause it's been banned. So where?"

Nobody had an answer, so they concentrated on their pizza and Pepsis, eating in morose silence.

"How'd the interview go?" Griffin asked hesitantly. Derek hadn't brought it up, so Griffin thought he might need to talk about it, even if he didn't want to.

"Not so great," Derek admitted. "Guy was kind of an asshole."

"Well, fuck him," Cobi encouraged. "Princeton doesn't know what they're missing."

"What happened? What did he say?" Tony gently prodded.

"It's not so much what he said, it's what he did." Derek briefly described what had happened, how he'd stolen the injured horse and ridden it to a vet.

"Good for you," Griffin encouraged. "That's hero shit."

"Just like Ritter v Zeppelin," Cobi agreed.

"I dunno, man, maybe I over-reacted—"

"Bullshit," Griffin insisted. "That guy was an asshole. You did the right thing."

"It was just a horse," Derek lamented, hearing the voice of his father in the back of his head.

"Just a horse?" Tony couldn't believe his ears. "Come on, you're the one who's always talking about the codes of chivalry, about how knights treated horses like members of their own family."

"Yeah," Griffin added, "wasn't injuring a horse as dishonorable as injuring a child?"

"Times have changed."

"Well maybe in that sense they shouldn't have."

The boys nodded in agreement but lapsed back into uncomfortable silence.

Eventually Cobi leaned back in thought, glancing over at the line of people waiting for pizza and then back at the empty Formica tables and benches. "Why don't we just play here?" he suggested.

All the boys stopped eating and followed Cobi's gaze around the restaurant. "Yeah," nodded Derek, "why not?"

"Long as my parents don't show up," agreed Tony. "And they won't. They hate pizza."

But Griffin's eyes lingered on Hope taking orders and he frowned. "I dunno, guys, seems kinda public."

"Kinda seems the opposite to me," Cobi countered. "Anonymity in the crowd."

"And it's open 'til midnight. That'll give us plenty of time to play," said Derek, warming to the idea.

But Griffin was still reluctant. "We'll keep getting interrupted when customers come into order. I think it would throw me off my game."

But Derek saw where Griffin was looking and smiled knowingly. "You're embarrassed."

"No I'm not," Griffin denied.

"Yes you are. You're hot for the pizza girl and you're afraid to let her find out you play Dungeons & Dragons."

"I'm not hot for the pizza girl," Griffin countered, rolling his eyes.

"Wait a second, I thought you were hot for your brother's girlfriend?" Tony wondered.

"He's probably hot for both of them," Derek suggested.

"I'm not hot for anyone!" Griffin said, and then quickly tried to change the subject: "Besides, how are we gonna play? don't have the rules and charts."

"Tony has those charts memorized," said Derek.

"It's true, I do," assured Tony.

"But I don't have the adventure module. My mom took all my books, remember?"

"Yes you do," reminded Cobi, "didn't you say Conrad was hiding it for you?"

"Yeah, but –"

"So call him up. Ask him to bring it over."

"Tell him we'll buy him a pizza," Derek added.

"Yeah," Tony reminded him, "the game must go on." He said it like it was the group's motto or something.

And even if it wasn't the group's motto before, it instantly became their motto now, because the rest of the gang repeated it confidently, hitting the table with each syllable for emphasis: "The game must go on."

Derek placed a quarter under his finger on the Formica table top and slid it across to Griffin. "Call Conrad," he demanded.

Before taking the coin Griffin glanced once more toward Hope. "The game must go on," he said unenthusiastically, bowing to peer pressure. Then he picked up the quarter, stood, and headed for the payphone.