Sex & Drugs & Dungeons & Dragons

F2. Prison Break

"You kick down the door to reveal a dim chamber," Derek described, leaning forward on his cell bench as he set the scene. "It smells dank, the floor covered with sleeping bags made out of human skin."

"Oh shit that's nasty!" exclaimed the gap-toothed prisoner

"Yes it is, Malcolm," agreed Derek, continuing his description. "It takes all your force of will just to keep from vomiting. The creatures rise from their disgusting beds. They're thin, tall and scaly, forked tongues flicking from their lipless snouts. One of them hisses and they all lunge toward you, bearing weapons carved from human bones.

"Bad Hombre is gonna jump from the shadows and shank those bitches with his plus one dagger!" exclaimed bloody-hand.

"Hell yeah, Tico! And Black Mamba's gonna hammer them fools upside the head with his ball and chain!" announced Malcolm.

"All right," replied Derek, hiding his fists behind his back. "Pick a hand."

Tico pointed at his left hand. "That one."

Derek pulled his hands out, revealing he held all five fingers splayed in his left hand and only two fingers in his right. "You win initiative! Bad Hombre leaps from the shadows, burying his knife in the back of a monster's neck. Black Mamba teas off on another, breaking its skull with a sickening crunch of his war flail. But there are still four scaly creatures left, and they charge!"

"Derek Hamilton Junior?" The interrupting voice came from the cell door. The three prisoners looked up to see a short, fat cop.

"Yeah, that's me." Derek told him.

"Someone posted your bail. You're free to go." The cop pulled open the cell door with a distasteful frown.

"Awe, hell no!" groaned Tico.

"What's gonna happen to Black Mamba and Bad Hombre?" complained Malcolm.

"Yeah, they ever gonna find the rod of lordly might?" wondered Tico.

"Can I borrow a pen?" Derek asked the cop.

The cop reluctantly grabbed a pen from his breast pocket.

Derek ripped off pieces of his ruined shirt, wrote something on them, and handed one each to his cell mates. "That's my number," he told them. "Wherever you end up, when you get a phone call, ring me up. I'll send you dice and rule books. Then you can play without me."

Malcolm nodded. "You all right, Derek Hamilton." He gave Derek some skin.

"Yeah you guys are too," Derek agreed, fist-bumping Tico.

Then he followed the cop out of the cell and into the waiting room. "Thanks for posting my bail but I'm not going home with you," he said to his father.

But his father wasn't there in the room. Instead there was Griffin, Tony, Cobi and Hope. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We posted your bail," replied Griffin.

Derek rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust. "I shoulda known my Dad wouldn't have caved." Then he looked confused again. "Where'd you guys get the money?"
Cobi eyed the cop who'd brought Derek back from the cells. "It's a long story."

"Come with us and we'll tell you outside," Griffin added.