Forever, Yours. ✔

Talks & Explanations

I WOKE UP WITH WARMTH surrounding me. Last time I checked, I was on a park bench, shivering from the cold and crying my eyes out at what I had just discovered about what my life was like. Now? I was in a somewhat cozy bed that had nice covers and pillows on it (and around me). The room around me was delicate looking and everywhere I looked, it was a creamy white and red. Nothing like the black and white room at the house I woke up in for this horrible, horrible "dream".

The crusties in my eyes continued to get on my nerves as I tried to look around at my other surroundings, but the fuzzy sight reminding me that I didn't have my glasses on. Sitting up, I noticed that I was the only one in the bed. There was a window and a dresser to my left and a nightstand to my right. From what I could tell from the evidence of the window, it had to be midday.

Yawning and pushing my hair away from my face, I get out of the comfy bed and made my way to - what I assumed was - the bathroom. Just from walking from the bed to the bathroom, I decided that I was in some kind of fancy motel, and that someone had brought me here.

Pushing away the thoughts of thinking about who had brought me here (making me think of Harry, if you know what I mean), I decided that a nice shower would do me some good. But first, I wanted to see what kind of state I was in (you never know what you look like when you first wake up until you look into a mirror, and that's the truth).

Running a hand through my unruly hair, I turn on the light to the bathroom and almost have a heart attack. My hair was hideous to look at (almost resembling Medusa's due, minus the snakes) and the makeup I had had on, made me look like a raccoon. My face was still bright red and tear streaked. I bit my lip, just looking at my pathetic excuse of a reflection that I once thought was a miracle, but now, I found it a bloody nightmare.

My worst one yet.

I decided to wash my face instead of taking a shower. When I had scrubbed away all the makeup and evidence of my crying on my face (mainly my cheeks), I inhaled a deep breath to calm my nerves as much as possible. I took a hair tie that I had placed on my wrist before we left the house, and pulled my curly mess into a point tail, keeping it out and away from my face.

To be honest, I could care less what I looked like right now.

Sniffling, I wipe away a few tears from my cheeks and also my face, slowly trying to get myself to stop the waterworks. I know for a fact I looked so pathetic at the state I was in. Some people would probably be feeling bad for me, but even I know how all of this was going to end.

In the end, Zayn and I will talk it out, somehow resulting into a fight and making my pathetic ass cry in hysteria as he looks at me in disgust. When I can finally form coherent words, Zayn will say that we're done and over with and he never wants to see me again. He might even wish me to have a good life with Harry, meaning it sarcastically. Then, I'll be begging to him, down on the floor and on my knees, saying that Harry meant nothing to me and Zayn was the only man I ever wanted (which is true). And finally, he'd give me one last look of 'I can't believe you' and walk out that door to never speak or even think of me again.

For me, I'd probably drowned in my own river of tears after all of that.

Blinking back newfound tears, I straighten up and look at myself hard in the mirror, trying to come up with a good pep talk for myself. Okay Vallin. You screwed up, well . . . "Fucked" up is more like it. But you can always fix it. You just have to talk with Zayn and everything will be alright. You can do this. You are a strong girl.

As soon as I told myself those words, I knew that they were a solid lie and that they were not true. I was a pathetic excuse for a wife - for any man for that matter. I just wished that I could take it all back and I would never have even thought about doing anything with Harry . . . Or even having an affair.