Stay with me, let's just breathe (Eddie Vedder FanFic) | Completed

Chapter 5 - Problems

I could barely breath. "Patrick, why?" - I thought while he was still kissing me. He had his eyes closed, so he didn't realize that I was in shock and that I couldn't move or take him off me. I pulled away and stare into his eyes:
- Patrick... What the hell ?...
He looked at me with his deep blue eyes. By the expression on his face I could tell that he was confused.
- Why what? Wasn't I supposed to... oh... shit...
I couldn't talk anymore. Why did he get the idea that I wanted this to happen? I was starting to get along with Eddie in a pretty good way, why did he do this?
- I'm sorry, but I have to get out of here, I'm getting sick - I said to him as I was trying to pull myself together and left the room. I stumbled across the room trying to walk straight.
- Please Cassie, don't go, I made a mistake, it wont do that again, I only thought that after all this time you would miss me as much as I miss you, and... - He said, but I was already on the bottom floor of my house, and I couldn't hear anymore. I run to the door and left.
What was I supposed to do? My long lost childhood friend kissed me while I was asleep. I was so happy I found him, and now, this takes a hole new direction, and it was not a good one.
I thought about going to Eddie's house, but 1) I couldn't tell how to go there because it was dark and my orientation sense sucked, and 2) what was I going to do there? Tell him? Why? It's not like we are in a relationship or anything. I was around when he had other girls and eventually he would left them. It's like everyone says, rock stars don't have girlfriends, they just have fun. So why would I tell him? Now I was felling trashy and stupid.
I decided to walk my way to the back door of my house and entered the little house that my brother had built for him and for his friends or girlfriends.
There is only one light bold on the ceiling and it was really dark, so I walked slowly , in a way that I wouldn't trip and fall. As I approached a huge table full of pillows to take one, i heard a noise coming from the large sofa near the door.
- Cassandra? - a deep, sleepy and manly voice said.
-What the !?... - I mumbleded, shocked trying to know where the voice was coming from.
He lift up the covers where he was sleeping: My brother.
- Joe !? Why aren't you at some random girl's house? - I said, approaching him, and sitting down on the sofa beside him.
-Well, she kind off kicked me out... - He said, sitting down as well, still sleepy.
-Why would she do that? Did you fucked thinks up?
- She was mad at me because I was jealous of this other guy she is going out with, so she just flipped and kicked me out of the house and I just staid here until now. For how long was I asleep? What time is it? - He asked, brushing his hair and his neck.
-I don't know, it's late - I answered.
-Oh by the way, what are you doing here Cass ? - he asked, leaning back.
So I told him, everything. First he couldn't believe that Patrick was in our house after all these years. Second he couldn't believe that Eddie's band had found him in the first place. Neither did I. Third he was shocked that Patrick had kissed me.
- So, are you going to tell anyone but me or ...? - He asked, getting up and looking at me.
-I don't want to think about it yet. He was probably so glad he found me that i don't know... feelings got over him? - I tried to come up with a logical explanation.
- Came one Cass, you know he always had a thing for you since you two were kids, he just took the opportunity, that's all - He said while taking my hand to stand me up - And you and Eddie? Are you guys a thing now or what?
- It's not like that - I said as I walked to the door with him - Rock stars don't have girlfriends.
- But even so, he as you sis..
- Shut up, it's too late for me to think about him - I answered, smiling at him while we were walking - Thinking at night is not good for anyone.
We continue to walk to the house and opened the door. Joe got in and I went after him, closing the door. He went to the kitchen to get some grape juice which he loves since I could remember, and then we got up the stairs to see if Patrick was still there. "Camon little sis! Let's see the bastard", said my brother excited. When we get to the room Patrick was still there, with his elbows on his knees, and his head down, looking at the floor.
-Rise young man! - said my brother, scaring the crap out of Patrick.
-Joe!? What in the world!? - Patrick screamed, standing up quickly.
Joe walked over towards him and hugged him, with a big "COME HERE!".
I just stood there watching them. I remembered the times when we used to play together, just the three of us outside my house, and Joe used to say he was in charge, so we had to do everything he wanted just because we were younger.
- ... isn't that right Cass? - my brother asked.
-Hum?.. What?
-I said, we are really happy to have you back after all this time, isn't that right Cass? - he asked again.
-Oh that, yes yes of course - I mumbled.
I got so lost in my thoughts. Recently I started to think about things that I've wanted to forget. I thought about my father a lot, and how he torn my family apart. I've spent all day thinking about Patrick and how he appeared out of nowhere. I've wanted to forget about my father, about Patrick, about my childhood. All of this things hurt me so much so I wanted to pretend that it never append. And now here he is: Patrick. Bringing back all this memories. Memories that I've made myself forget. All this thoughts were running though my head as I heard Joe saying "I'm going to head to the bathroom ok? You two should catch up on things, it's been to much since you guys had a proper talk."
So I was left alone with him, the guy that I thought myself that didn't existed. He was on that part of my life that for me, never happened. And despite all my efforts he was here, sitting on the bed, looking at me, embarrassed of his actions.
- Cassie, I'm sorry for what I've done...- he started - It was just that I got so overwhelmed by finding you that some weird feelings got over me and... - I interrupted.
- It's fine, really. I understand - I said, leaning on the wall for some support.
- No, it's not fine! - He shouted - I kissed you out of nowhere! You have the right to be offended, even mad at me! - He continued, this time standing up and facing me - I'm so sorry Cassandra... I got so overwhelmed with the feeling of having you back into my life that I... - He couldn't finish the sentence because I moved forward and hugged him really tightly. I didn't wanted him to apolozige. I wanted to get my memories back, the ones that I pretended that didn't existed. I hugged him so tight like my memories were going to get back to me faster if I hugged him more and more. But they didn't, it only made my sadder. Maybe I tried to hard to forget them, and now I couldn't have them back anymore. I pulled back and stared into his face. We didn't said a word, he just looked at me and I looked at him.
- I'm sorry for all these years. - I said finally.
- I'm sorry for taking so long to find you. - He said, this time smiling.
-SO WHO WANTS SOME GRAPE JUICE?! - my brother shouted, appearing out of no where.
We looked at him, and smiled like old times. And so we drank grape juice that Joe loves, we talked about what append after we got separated. I was so happy to have him back in my life. And I was sure that my memories of that time were going to came back to me, sooner or later.

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- Good morning sunshine! - I heard my brother screaming voice say. I rolled over to the other side of the bed and hugged the sheets trying to fall asleep again.
- Please don't make me wake up Joe... - I asked, still sleepy.
-TOO LATE! - He screamed again, lifting up the covers.
-OH SHIT.... - I shouted as the cold air invaded my body - YOU ARE THE DEVIL!
-Shut up and get dressed little sis, you have someone here to see you - He winked.
-Wait, how did I get to my bed? I only remember drinking your grape juice - I asked, getting up and stretching myself.
-Oh that? I carried you to the bed -He answered- You are a lot heavier then last time I have to say - He laughed.
-And what about Milkshake?
-Don't worry, he slept in my room, I took the sofa. Now get ready because Stone is getting impatient. - He smiled and walked away.
"Wait, Stone? I thought it was Eddie..." - I thought, feeling kind of disappointed. I tried to look presentable, but I didn't even have the patience to dress myself, so I just putted on one of my brother's t-shirts and some black jeans. I ran down the stairs and saw Stone sitting on the kitchen table with Patrick.
-Cassandra, good morning! - Stone said, getting up to give me a hug.
-I was just talking to Patrick here - He continued - You sure are a sleeping beauty, it took you this long to wake up?
-I was really tired so shut up - I said, punching him in the stomach, gently.
-Oh, you are a dead girl! NO ONE PUNCHES ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! - He said while trying to punch me as well. "Jackass"- I thought and smiled.
- You two seem to be very close - Patrick smiled as well, entering the conversation.
-Not at all - I replied looking away.
-"She was a thing for me" - Stone whispered to Patrick with a winking face.
-I DO NOT! - I shouted as the three of us started to laugh.
-So, what are you doing here anyways? - I asked, looking at Stone.
-Oh yeah, that! Eddie asked me to bring you to his place, he didn't said why. I'm just the diver really!
-Eddie wants you to drive me to his place?
-That's what I said - Smiled Stone.
I looked over to Patrick and he was as clueless as me.
-Okay then, I guess - I said, making him take my wrist and pull me over to the door, running. - PATRICK, PLEASE TELL JOE THAT I'M OVER TO EDDIE'S OK? - I shouted for Patrick to hear, and he just had time to say "Sure, Cass" and then the door smacked.
I entered Stone's car and he just smiled, looked to me and said "You look so cute today". I found it odd but nice a the same time, so I smiled as well and said "Thank you kind driver!"
It took us about 10 to 15 minutes to get to Eddie's house and when we did, as soon as I got out of the car Stone shouted from the window "YOU TWO HAVE FUN!" and drove away from the house, leaving me there at the door, clueless of what was going on.
I was kind of apprehensive. Is he mad at me? Did he found at about what Patrick did? Did something happened? Did I forgot something? I didn't know that to think of all of this.
I made my way to the door and knocked on the door as hard as I could because I could hear an Audioslave song coming from inside the house. It took him a while until he opened the door, and when he did I suddenly felt really nervous.
He was just wearing some shorts and his hair down. He seemed worried. He just starred at me and both of us didn't say anything and just stool still. After some time I decided to break the ice and said "So... here I am mister Vedde..." I didn't have time to finish my sentence. He grabbed me by my wrist into the house and closed the door.
-Eddie you are hurting me... - I told him, but after I finished my last word he whispered "Come here" staring right into my eyes, and started kissing me deeply.

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written in 2015
rewritten in 14/12/2017