𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐞𝐟 || ʟᴏ'ᴀᴋ

040

Se'aeylwa

I was lying in our hammock once again, rubbing a hand up and down my stomach. I had tried to entice a reaction out of the baby, but I increasingly got worried as I began to get later into my pregnancy and they hadn't moved an inch, not one kick or punch.

I still loved them nonetheless, but it wouldn't hurt to have a sign a na'vi was growing in my stomach other than my skin stretching and my movements slowing.

I sighed, a cold wind gushing past me as I curled into a ball as best as possible, draping a small blanket over my frame as I cuddled into the fabric. I turned to my left, looking out at the open sky as my heart stopped it's rhythmic thumping in my chest. 

A familiar yellow and blue Ikran was flying through the sky, a forest na'vi perched as it's rider as I stared mouth agape and wide eyed. My eyes squinted getting a better view of the na'vi as thoughts riddled my head. 

"Lo'ak..." I murmured to myself, looking as the figure came closer and closer. My eyes immediately dropped to my stomach as fear radiated through my bones. I had longed for him all this time, but I suddenly felt scared, scared he would reject me or reject the baby, hop on his ikran once more and fly home once he saw what he had done to me.

I wasn't slim anymore, I wasn't fast, and I certainly wasn't as beautiful when I continued to wake up through the night to the sounds of the nursery babies crying. My body had changed, my ears picking up on the cries of children more than they ever had, I couldn't see my toes anymore because of my large stomach, and my hips constantly ached. 

I wasn't the girl or the mate that he remembered. What if he felt differently? What if he felt awful for leaving me behind? What if he stayed out of pity and he turned into a nasty person like my mother? 

I knew I had to stop questioning things, or worse, jumping to conclusions as I looked out to him once more. He carried a child on his hip, presumably Tuk as he conversed with Ronal and Tonowari, respectfully dragging his hand from his forehead downwards as the Tsahìk judged him mercilessly. She had conspired even more hatred for the boy after he left his mate while she was pregnant, in his defense he didn't know, but he could have at least stayed for the mating tattoo's that would have only taken a moment. 

I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding as I inspected Lo'ak. He was taller, broader, more muscular than I had remembered him, I knew that was what happened when the Omatikaya fell in love, and a small part of me started to doubt he was here to stay. 

What if he found someone better in the forest, and was only coming back to tell me he would never return again? To not get my hopes up? 

My nose became sniffly as the endless thoughts sent my hormonal body into overdrive. Tears spewed from my eyes as I shook under the blanket holding myself as I thought of the endless possibilities on why he returned. And none of them where positive.