Boun had a girlfriend of eight years - they had planned their future together; adopting dogs, getting their own house, traveling the world, and surpassing his girlfriend's illness together.
Cancer's a bitch, though.
Boun would be conflicted when h...
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The amount of times that I've checked my phone for the time is uncountable in both hands. I've been feeling queasy, somewhat. Boun and I are still in his car, on the way to my apartment. Despite it being a little past 10 pm, there's still slow-moving traffic on our way home. Again, of all the times that we could be stuck in traffic together, it just had to be tonight, huh?
I am tensed, on edge. The interaction with Boun a while ago is weighing heavily in my mind. The way he looked at me - it made me think that somehow, he knew. That maybe, he could remember.
And I don't want that.
I don't want him to remember.
"Are you okay?" Boun asks, voice calm and mellow. Somewhat mimicking the lulling feeling that the cold air from his car's AC is giving - cold against my skin, but not harsh, calming. Comforting.
I looked at him momentarily, the red light from the stop light shining on his face as he looks at me, concern on his face. "Uh, yeah." I nod recklessly and tore my gaze off of him again, going back to the window beside me, taking comfort on the slightly still busy road outside. I forgot that it's a Friday night. that explains why the streets are still quite busy at this hour.
"You sure?" Boun asks as I feel the car speed off again, the green light shining on my face this time. I mumbled a response, trying to calm myself down for the rest of our ride back to my apartment. "Did I say something wrong?" He asks and that made my body turn back to his side, my lip caught between my teeth. He sounded worried. I know that tone. I know it all-too well.
He tore his gaze away from the road when he didn't receive a response from me. I probably look like a fetus with the position that I am currently holding, hands gripping the seatbelt for dear support. All of a sudden, I felt small inside his car. His eyebrows raised as he looked at me but that didn't last long because he obviously has to look back at the road ahead of us.
I, on the other hand, held my position. Somehow, amidst all the crazy things that happened before and even currently, I wanted to savor this moment just like this. I want to stay like this, right here.
With him.
The few remaining minutes of the drive was calm and steady. He's a very careful driver, that's something that I took note of and I'm glad that he is. I remained seated in such a weird position, as some would say. I didn't speak a word and Boun seem to not mind. He asked me once and I didn't respond, and he seem to take it as a sign that I didn't want to talk.
What I truly appreciate about Boun is how understanding he is - he's always been like this. He's always the one to adjust and adapt to any situation or to whoever it is, may it be to his family, friends, manager and work, and especially his fiancé.
Though this was the case, there were numerous occasions when he just couldn't take things anymore. When he just wanted to explode - he needed to explode. I couldn't blame him. One can only take too much.
