False Beginnings

Karma

Walking into the loft, he went straight into the guest bathroom. Turning the water on, he leaned on the sink counter staring into the mirror. His face had splatters of blood. Seeing his reflection reminded him of who he truly was. The monster that hid under a nice suit. Shredding the bloody clothes he stepped under the cascading water. Placing his palm on the shower wall, his muscles relaxed under the warm water. The once clear water, flowed off his body taking the blood and grime with it. After a moment he turned around resting his back on the wall, head dropped forward.

He had lost control while in that room. Something he had never done. No matter how hard he tried to stop, Lewis's screams fueled his drive. Barba wanted him to scream. He wanted to hear him beg. Feel what he made Olivia feel.

"Rafa?" Olivia knocked softly on the bathroom door.

Barba was startled, his eyes falling to the bloody clothes on the floor. "Yeah?"

"We brought take out, hurry up!"

With a sigh of relief, he closed his eyes. "I'll be out in a moment."

Washing any traces of Lewis off, Barba shut the water off and stepped out. Opening the hamper and finding it empty, he tossed the clothes in. He'd toss it out during his walk with Desoro. Changing into a pair of sweats and a loose shirt, he joined Noah and Olivia in the kitchen.

"Hey." Olivia greeted him with a kiss on the lips. "Where did you run off to? I called your office and they hadn't seen you."

"James called, he needed to meet." Again with the lies. "Hey, mijo."

"Hi." Noah sat on one of the stools, tossing his head back allowing Barba to kiss him on the forehead. "Mommy, can I go see tv?"

Olivia nodded. "But because not to spill anything!" Noah was already settled on the couch by the time she finished. "Why do I even bother?"

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

He pushed around the food on his plate, debating if he should just come clean. Tell her everything there was to say about him. Tell her what he was truly doing all afternoon. But in the end, the fear of losing her was stronger. "How are you? Lewis was brutal today."

"I'm fine." She took the seat beside him. "I'm just glad it's over with."

Raising his hand Barba pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Did I ever tell you I like the new haircut?" She shook her head. "I do." Leaning in he nibbled on the spot just below her ear. "Sadly I can't grip it as well as before." Grabbing a small handful of hair, he tugged her head to the side. A low gasp egging him on. Kissing up the length of her now exposed neck, he bit down on her shoulder. "But still enough."

"Noah is in the living room." She had hoped she didn't sound as flushed as she felt.

Barba growled pulling her into a kiss. "We can always take this into the bedroom."

"What ar-" She groaned at the ringing of her phone. "It's Fin."

Barba sighed pulling his hand away from her hair. "Like I said before, bad timing."

"Hey, Fin."

'I just got a call from Rikers. Something happened to Lewis.'

"What do you mean happened?"

'Warden said the guards found him bloody in his bed. Dodds wants us there.'

She side glanced at Barba a feeling of annoyance coming over her. "Alright, I'll meet you there." Hanging up the phone, she tossed him an apologetic look. "I-"