Miraculous Mistakes

Not You Again

Maddison's POV:

After a few days staying at my childhood home, settling into my old room filled with memories, I wish I could have still kept suppressed. I woke up this morning with no morning sickness, which was a great day for me. Took a steamy shower, curled my hair, since it was losing it's natural wave. And touched up my makeup, just to make me feel better. I have heard several horror stories when it comes to giving birth, and my looks were the one most important thing I was scared of losing. 

I worked really hard to clear my skin from all the cystic acne I underwent in high school. And my braces were a real hassle when I had to sleep with a headset every night. So uncomfortable and humiliating. So in college, my braces were finally taken off, and I chose Invisalign. But only needed to wear it at night, just so my teeth didn't retract back to the crooked mess they use to be. 

I started going on hot girl walks and sticking to a diet, I wasn't one of those girls who could eat anything and never gain any weight. So I began a work out routine, and went to some yoga classes once or twice a week. I was very well fit and organized when I attended college, and even though I had my mind set on graduating. I also was keeping my eye on the prize, which was taking care of my physical and mental health. 

Putting on makeup never made me feel better about myself when I was in high school. I always felt like it did less justice for me than it did for anyone else. It wasn't until Melody taught me a few tricks, and Loren helped me find my creativity with the products I put on my face. That I felt more comfortable with my own skin. 

And not forever trapped in something, I would never find my way out of. 

I wouldn't say I have an hour glass body, but I did feel as though me putting the work in really paid off. And I do appreciate having curves in all the right places. I parted my hair down the middle today, and combed it out. Making it fluffy and wavy, not too curly. As I pulled on a blue romper and some sandals. 

I headed out of my room and to the kitchen, grabbing me a bagel with cream cheese, as I looked out the window to the front porch. Witnessing my mother sewing and peering out at the water. She seemed so content with where she was now in life. Even though she never remarried after my father, or even dated anyone for that matter. She just kept to herself, as a retired nurse, watching the waves and tending to the house. I felt lonely for her. 

My eyes glanced over at the clock on the stove, as the timer on the toaster went off making my bagel halves shoot into the air. I still had a few more minutes until my doctor's appointment. And my mother told me she would come with me. This appointment was just to make sure the pregnancy was going smoothly, and I might even get to hear a heartbeat. It was all very exciting for my mother and very terrifying for me. 

I placed my bagel on a plate, smearing some strawberry cream cheese on top, and licking a little off my finger. Before placing everything back in the fridge and stepping outside to join my mother. I took a seat next to her as she smiled at me, before continuing to sew and have a glimpse at the waves in front of her from time to time. 

"Mom.." I started, biting in to my bagel as she rocked back and forth within her chair. 

"Yes dear" she said, sewing intently. 

"How come you never remarried after dad?" I asked, as she stopped. 

"What made you ask that?" she asked, looking over at me and placing her sewing things on her lap. 

"I'm just curious" I said, taking another bite of my bagel. 

My mother sighs, picking up her sewing, and continuing.

"I just knew I would never fall in love with anyone, the same way I fell in love with your father." she said, and I didn't like the way that made me feel.