Miraculous Mistakes

These Last Four Years...

Maddison's POV:

I was held up in my childhood home for days after my conversation with Hayden. I hated that he kept on running through my mind. The way his words would linger when I never intended to succumb to the bitter taste of his absence. I was in my room for awhile, cleaning, organizing, moping, and trying to distract myself. 

I thought more about getting a job, and putting forth the effort to get myself out of the house. But I knew my pregnancy was escalating, and if I threw myself into a full time job at this very moment, it would be pointless. I appreciated that my mother wasn't forcing me to pay bills, but I did help her around the house whenever I could. I never thought of it as chores though. She and I called it quality time. 

I could tell my mother was concerned about my mental health, and to be honest so was i. After everything, I still felt like a complete mess, but most of all I hate that my mother was right. I was being selfish towards this entire situation. And I was shutting Hayden out despite him possibly being a completely different person now. And I know how much he hates that I'm not giving him chance, to even get to know him now. How do I even know he's deserving of me? of a friendship or relationship with me? or even a family? 

I know I shouldn't be childish and keep a grudge between us that has been there since high school. But I can't bring myself to change my feelings towards him. The anger is still there, the pain is still there, and the more I see him, the more I'm reminded that I am carrying his child. The more I remember what he put me through in high school. And that girl he bullied and tormented from freshmen to senior year is still with me. 

There was a knock at the door, when my mother and I were cleaning the living room. I was dusting off the TV with my hair tied into a messy bun. A few fly away hairs were in my face, as I brushed them out the way, heading to the front door. I didn't want Hayden to be standing there, my heart was pounding at I turned the knob. But then I sighed of relief, seeing my best friends wearing bikini's, shorts and tanks, and even some sunglasses. 

"HEY BITCH" Sam yelled, as she smiled at me, smacking on her gum and holding a red cooler in her hands. Loren threw her arms around me, as Laurie loosened her arms around me. 

"Careful! she's pregnant remember!" Laurie said, as I giggled, rocking Loren back and forth in my arms, before hugging Laurie. 

"Hey guys, I've missed you" I said, as Melody hugged me afterwards, and kissed my forehead. 

"We missed you too Maddie" Sam said, pulling me into an embrace, as they group hugged me. 

"I keep on forgetting that you use to live in a place like this!" Melody says, as she sets her bag down on the kitchen island and looks out the windows to the ocean view. 

"This is absolutely beautiful!" Laurie yelled, walking down the halls and looking in the bedrooms, as I smiled, wrapping my arms around Sam. 

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch, as they joined me. My mother then walked in from the porch.

 "Melody, Loren, Laurie, Sam! how are you guys?" she asked, as they smiled at her. 

"Oh we're great Ms. Manson! just wondering why Maddie moved back here and then fell off the face of the earth!" Loren said, as I laughed, shoving her. 

"I did not!" I said, as Sam nodded. 

"Um girl.. yes you did! you said you were coming back here to clear your head and when you did, you never returned our calls. I mean yeah sure this place is paradise, but don't forget we exist!" Melody said, as I laughed even more. 

"Oh gosh, I am sorry if it seems that way. I love you guys, and I hope you always know that. Even when I just need space and don't call you" I said, as Laurie smiled, rubbing my leg.