Storm In The Quiet |Shadow and Bone 1&2| Kaz Brekker

.II.I.

❝You're growing tired of me,

you love me so hard and I still can't sleep.

You're growing tired of me,

and all the things I don't talk about.❞

A Pearl, Mitski.

.No Shelter But Me.

.Part One.

The storm at sea goes up in tempo in a moment, every sense of pattern and direction would be lost were it not for the compass. The gulls were tossed paper in the wind, flashes of white in the grey, tumbling as they struggled against the gale. Beneath them the sea rose as great mountains, anger in the form of water, turbulent and unforgiving.

Anger and frustration tumbled in loud unforgiving words, reverberating off of the walls of Kaz's cabin on the ship. But just like the sea, they'd started quiet and calm.

"Why did you leave Ketterdam so quickly?" Kaz asked as he sat down at the small table.

Ambrosia rubbed her arm with her gloved hand, avoiding his gaze, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You know all of my secrets, Ambrose." He looked at her as if she was another lock for him to pick - but it seemed that in this moment she was just that. "Why can't I know one simple thing?"

"Because it's not simple, Kaz!" Ambrosia jolted, still not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

"Then tell me." His voice was becoming harsher, "saints sake Ambrosia."

"No Kaz."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to know!"

Kaz looked taken aback for a moment before the anger started to rise, "don't you trust me?"

His hard sandstone tone of voice caught her off guard, he'd never spoken to her like that, forcing her walls up simultaneously. "It's not that, Kaz. Of course I do, I trust you with me life!"

"Then tell me, Ambrosia! What's so bad that you can't even spare me the reason that you left suddenly?" With each word that left his mouth Ambrosia felt her anger bubble up and she knew she was going to blow right there in that cabin. "Don't you think I deserve to know why! You have no idea how many times it kept me up, wondering if you were in danger, what had happened!"

Something in Ambrosia flipped.

"Fine! You so desperately want to know? Don't complain when you don't see me the same!" Now it was her turn to have murder in her eyes as she finally looked at him. "I killed my family, Kaz! My own flesh and blood! My mother, two sisters and my two brothers! All because I was angry, and the worst part," her voice wavered. "The worst part is that I can't even remember why! I left you on that bridge because I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else!" She was just a young girl confused and angry, who'd killed her family the night before her fourteenth birthday and didn't want to spill anymore loved ones blood.