The Mistake of Non-Existent Love | ✍🏼

13. Leaving?

 - Ellery Cohen - 

"Bubby" I had taken it upon myself to give the boys their own nicknames, starting with Rutger being called bubby. He suited it, in my opinion. I tried to jump up on the couch to sit with him, as he placed his phone down, before picking me up. 

I smiled as I threw myself at him, causing him to chuckle. "What's up?" he questioned, as I rested my head on his chest. I didn't want to say anything, feeling sadness rip through me as I thought about what I had seen in the room I had been staying in. 

I mean, what can I say, I was sure that it had to of been coming, I just wasn't expecting it to happen this quickly. I had gotten too comfortable, not thinking about the chances that Miles would do this to me, after he had done everything in his will to protect me. 

"I think I'm leaving" I stuttered, burying my face in the front of Rutgers jumper. I felt him wrap a tight arm around me, as another hand was rubbing up and down my back. I hated how this made me so sleepy, and I knew that all the boys knew that it made me sleepy, especially Rutger.

"I don't wanna sleep" I whined, trying to pull out of Rutgers's hold, seeing tears welling up in his eyes. I leaned up, using all of my strength to apply a kiss to his cheek before I was wiping the tears that had fallen underneath his eyes. 

He smiled, kissing my forehead before someone else entered Rutgers's dorm. Miles had walked me down here when he realized that I was bored of watching him pack my stuff up into bags, and he decided it would be best that I was here, while him and Mark did what they had to. 

"Hey, what's up?" I turned away from Rutger, seeing his roommate, Luca, walking into the kitchen with some bags. "I'll tell you later" Rutger responded, as I sat up in his lap, watching Luca move around the kitchen, with many different ingredients. It interested me, seeing how Luca moved around the kitchen, making something that I couldn't see over the ledge. 

I stood up to try and get a better view, which made Rutger have to grab onto me at the waist, as I tried to stand up on his shoulders. Rutger chuckled before he pulled me down and picked me up to get a closer look. I opened my mouth in amazement. 

It smelled so good, and when I leaned out of Rutgers's hold, I was given a spoonful of what Luca had made. I hummed, making grabby hands for more, as Luca dished up a bowl of some of the stuff he made already, before I was sat down at the table, and handed some food. 

I head another chuckle as someone else entered the dorm. I had figured with these boys, if there was one of them, there was always more of them to come through the door. It was like one of the books Miles had read too me the other day, that when you saw one flower, there was usually a whole field of them to be found. 

That reminded me of the boys. If you saw one of them, there usually was more of them somewhere down the road. I scoffed down the bowl, before I looked up to Luca, silently asking for more. He laughed, taking the bowl from me, as my eyes crossed over to see Nolan, standing in the kitchen, watching Luca with Rutger standing beside him. 

"NoNo" was the name I had given for Nolan, as I put my hands up, signaling for a hug from him. He laughed, as his hands rested on his hips, before he decided to come over and give me the best hug of the day. Nolan always gave the best hugs out of them all, but no one beats Miles' hugs. 

I giggled as he spun me around a few times, before I was sat back down in the chair. Miles had walked in, with Mark behind him. My mood deepened at this, knowing they had finished packing up my belongings. 

I didn't like this one bit. I knew they didn't have much to pack, but I wanted it too take longer, so I could stay here longer. "We better hit the road" Miles said, clapping his hands once, for some weird reason. Most of what Miles did was weird, but I had learnt just to go along with it, like I did with mommy. 

I was bit upset that she hadn't come back, but I wanted her to come back, so that I would be knowing where I was going, but even then she never told me where I was headed, but she gave me some sort of comfort. 

With Miles packing my stuff up, I had no clue. "Miles, it's getting late. You can't drive when dark is nearing in a few hours. Head off early tomorrow" Nolan said, as he wrapped his arms around the back of my chair, as I ate more of the good stuff Luca had prepared. 

Over my time of meeting the boys, I had always known Luca to have good food, as well as his brother Adam, but Luca's was always better than Adam's. No ones food ever beat Luca's, especially what I was eating right now. This was the best I had ever had. 

"Fine" Miles muttered. It was funny watching Nolan act like a big brother to them all, as Miles had told me he was the captain of there team. He was the only one that could get them all in a line, with no complaints. 

I found it weird, that Nolan was the only one still here from his year. He had apparently graduated last year, but was asked to come back this year. I was glad he did, because I liked his hugs and his smile and his laugh. He was probably one of my favorite's, as I didn't have a sole favorite. 

I was given my bowl back, as I almost scoffed down the second bowl, with Nolan chuckling at me from behind. Miles had come to sit down on one side with me, while Rutger had sat down on the other side, each with a bowl of what Luca was making. 

I didn't want any of this to end. I wanted it to stay like this, as for once, I was ok not knowing what I would be doing the next day. I wasn't always stuck with Miss Sarah, even though she was better than mommy, I always knew I would be going back to her, to get hurt. 

I didn't like the feeling mommy gave me, of knowing that I would go home and come back out worse the next day, and there was nothing that I could do about it. There was no one I could tell, but here, there was. I could see people every day, knowing that I wouldn't get hurt.

Once I finished my bowl, I was then picked up by Nolan, as my eyes were heavy. He carried me somewhere, as he pressed play, as I watched all the other boys enter the room. Before I knew it, my eyelids had fallen heavy, with Nolan's hand rubbing my back in circles, as I felt my head drop onto his chest. 

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want this to change. I wanted to stay here, forever. 

---

thoughts? xx