The Mistake of Non-Existent Love | ✍🏼

16. Halfway There

| Ellery Cohen | 

I felt guilty. I had fallen asleep during the night, right after I had been put into the car seat, and now I was awake. We were still driving, but a bag of food was now sitting beside the man, which I could just barely see. 

"Good morning, sweetheart. You hungry?" this man reminded me exactly of Owen, but he just wasn't as tall. No matter what, Owen always made sure that I was ok, even though he never really hung around with Miles much. He always checked in on me, and made sure that I had something of Luca's to eat. 

I remember him sharing his lunch with me one day, when Miles had been called into a meeting with a teacher. We had sat outside, under a umbrella, as he shared his sandwich with me, then gave me one of the two chocolate milks he had packed. One for me and one for him. Apparently he was going to a different team after this season, which saddened me. 

"Yes please" my stomach grumbled, which the man in the front must of heard, as he chuckled quietly, before grabbing the bag and handing it back to me. I wasn't scared of him, as he had done nothing to scare me. He had been a sole provider for me and the lady for the past two weeks, constantly working. 

"You can have whatever you like. I didn't know what you would like" he murmured, while he kept his eyes on the road. He must have been tired, for sure. I just nodded, while I was humming along to the lyrics of whatever the song was that was on the radio. I missed the music that Miles and the boys used to constantly play. I couldn't wait to see them. 

I hoped that that was where we were going. I had seen a familiar sign before I had dozed into my sleep, and that was all I had thought about while my eyes had been closed for way too long. I sat in silence, munching on the food that Greg, I'm pretty sure I remembered his name to be, as my legs swung back and forth in my car seat, as I was looking out the window. 

I just wanted any sign that I was going back to Miles and the boys. 

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Placed on the ground, I couldn't stop from jumping around. I had had a second sleep, before waking up as the car stopped to see somewhere that I was familiar with. It was the same place that I had been dropped off to by mommy, and it was the same place that I had left Miles all along with the boys. 

I knew not to run in there, so I waited for Greg to grab my bags for me, before he took my hand and walked me in there. I felt bad, that I had forced him to drive me the whole way here, but then this was where I had been wanting to be, and I knew I belonged here. I didn't belong anywhere without Miles in the picture. 

No matter how much Greg and that lady had done for me, they had never really been anything like I was used to. I didn't like being called Ivy, as it wasn't my name. My name was Ellery and I was glad to be back with Miles. 

We walked in the doors, and I so badly wanted to run into the hallway and start searching for Miles on one of the boys. I was kinda surprised to hear that the hallways were kinda quiet, but I mean, the sun seemed to be going down, so maybe people were finished for the day. I wasn't, I was wide awake and ready to stay up the whole night with Miles. 

"Hello, I am here for Miles Cohen" I remembered my mommy saying that name when we first got here, but Greg was much nicer to the front desk lady compared to mommy. I remember being pushed behind the big desk, and then not knowing where my mommy had run off to. It had scared me, but now, I knew that this was where Miles was, and this is where I wanted to be, not with anyone else. 

"Oh, he is scheduled to be playing a game tonight. You are welcome to watch, as they are playing at home tonight. Just turn down the hallway to the left, then take the second right and you will be at the back of the courtyard, and walk straight through to the doors that say 'Ice Hockey Arena' and you'll be there. Here are some spare tickets that were reserved for someone that was supposed to come and watch Miles tonight" 

That was weird. Who else would be coming to watch Miles tonight besides me? How could I have not known that he was playing tonight? I felt really bad, like I had let Miles down by not knowing that he was playing tonight. I didn't even know if I was going to be here right now, but now that I was, I should have known that he was playing. 

I had completely forgotten what day of the week it was. "Oh ok. Do you need me to pay?" Greg continued the conversation with the front desk lady, before he gently grabbed my hand and dragged me the way I had been plenty of times, but now, it felt new. I had been here in so long, and everything felt different. Like I had missed something while I wasn't here. 

The two of us just walked in silence. I had no idea what to say to Greg. There was no point in brining up that I had almost missed Miles game. That I didn't even know he was playing, and now I was making him stay as the nice lady, who I remembered her name to be as Clarence, who I had sat with for my first game, I wasn't sure if she had been asked to come to sit with me. 

I had made so many people go out of their way just so I could be here. Greg opened the door to the arena, as I was hit with the cold from the ice. I shivered a little, as I was walked down to wherever the seats were. I just kept my head down, feeling bad about everything that I had done. I should be hurt for this, as I have been really bad. 

None of this should be mine. I haven't been good enough for any of this, that has just been handed to me. I was a really bad little girl . There was nothing that I could do to change what has been done, and I feel at fault for everything that has happened. 

"Oh, hello" a familiar voice spoke, making me look up to someone I was not expecting to be sitting here. I let go of Greg's hand and ran forward, as I was then picked up and hugged tightly. This was what I had been missing all along. Tight hugs that were suffocating, but enough to make me feel safe and loved. 

"Hey Ells, I didn't know you were coming tonight" Clarence laughed at me, as I snuggled my head into her neck, taking a sniff of the scent that I remembered. I loved Clarence, she felt like a mother to me, more than my own mommy, and the lady that had looked after me with Greg. "I need to get going. Are you okay to look after her and get her to Miles?" I heard Greg speak. 

It made me feel a little sad that this was the last time that I was going to be seeing Greg, so he deserved a good goodbye from me. He needed an Ellery hug, as the boys had labelled it whenever I was leaving them. So, I pushed away from Clarence as the two were discussing, and ran back over and hugged Greg's legs, as that was all I could reach. 

I gave them a tight squeeze, the best that I could, as he moved something, before he picked me up and brought me in for a hug. "You deserve the world, sweetheart. I wish you all the best" I didn't realize he was crying, so I looked up, and wiped his tears away, before giving him a kiss on the cheek. He then put me back down, and walked away, with a small wave. 

I then sat down next to Clarence, right as the game was about to start. 

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thoughts? xx

So, I was gonna put something else in here, but I decided to cut it short. Hope this isn't too bad and it all makes sense.