The Lost one

No more running

It has been a peaceful couple of days. I have been able to hang out with Bekah and get to know Marcel more. He seems to be a good guy. I am starting to like him. I have mostly been reading in the common room, not getting much sleep at night. I start to walk around the house and find a room with a piano in it. I haven't played the piano in years. I wonder if I can still tickle the ivory. I start playing "I Drink Wine" by Adele. I love her music. But I love almost all music. I start softly singing the words as I play the notes.

Me: How can one become so bounded by choices that somebody else makes? How come we've both become a version of a person we don't even like? We're in love with the world, but the world just wants to bring us down. By puttin' ideas in our heads that corrupt our hearts somehow. When I was a child, every single thing could blow my mind. Soaking it all up for fun, but now I only soak up wine. They say to play hard, you work hard, find balance in the sacrifice. And yet I don't know anybody who's truly satisfied. You better believe I'm tryin'. To keep climbin'. But the higher we climb feels like we're both none the wiser. So I hope I learn to get over myself. Stop tryin' to be somebody else. So we can love each other for free. Everybody wants somethin', you just want me.

Kathrine: You have a beautiful voice.

Me: *I get startled. I didn't know she was standing behind me. Along with Freya and Nik* Thank you.

Freya: I haven't heard you sing in so long.

Nik: Yes, you stopped singing after father..*He trails off* Anyway, I am glad you are getting back into it.

Freya: I missed your singing. I will demand it more often now. *She says smiling*

Me: I may or may not oblige.

Kathrine: Will you give us the room?

Me: *I look at my siblings with a little bit of worry. I have no idea how this will go* It's ok. *They walk out to leave Kathrine and I alone. I wait for her to start, not knowing where this is going to go*

Kathrine: Why did you leave?

Me: I wanted to go back to my house.

Kathrine: Don't lie to me. *She says frustrated* We don't do that.

Me: *We?* I was scared. I was scared that you don't feel the same. I am scared now of what you may say. *I drop my head*

Kathrine: Look at me. *I look up at her* You can't run when something doesn't go your way or when you are scared. You have to face it head on. Talk to me and give me a chance to respond. It would have been fine if you just went in the house, but you actually left the state. Do you know how I felt? You tell me how you feel and then you run because you were afraid of my answer? I was upset at first but that was soon replaced by anger. Don't do that shit with me. You want this to work you need to stay and work things out. If you can't do that then I am out. Whatever this is will die. Now, I am going to go upstairs and shower. You think on this. *She walks away*

I am sitting here astonished. No one, I mean no one has spoken to me like this. Besides my father. No one outside of my family has had the balls to call me out on my shit. Now I know for a fact I can not let this woman go. I do not need to be convinced of that. Does this mean she feels the same way? I wait a little bit to make sure she is showered and dressed then I head to her new room. I start to knock but the door is opened before I get the chance.

Kathrine: Hello

Me: Hi *I give a sheepish smile* May I come in?

Kathrine: *Opens the door for me to pass through* Have you come to a decision.

Me: How much of my past do you know?

Kathrine: Not much. Why?

Me: May I tell you some of it?

Kathrine: Only if you are comfortable with it. *she grabs my had to reassure me*

Me: You know the relationship with my siblings are strong. I would kill for them in a heartbeat and I would give my life to make sure that they will be safe. I have always been there to protect my siblings. Even when they were not aware. I am sure you are aware of how our father treated Nik and I. Nik does not know this but there were many times I would provoke my father when he would have a go at Niklaus. Nik did not get the brunt of our father. *I take off my shirt to show her the many scars on my body. She looks hurt, like someone just kicked her puppy or something. She then looks at me with many different emotions. I see anger and sorrow the most* For decades my father would assault me. Beat me till I was gasping for air, begging him to stop and spare my life. For twenty six years I dealt with him. Wondering everyday if this would be my last. Until our mother turned us. It was then when I decided that my father would live his last day. I thought I took his life Kathrine. I thought I took his life and I never told anyone about it. But now I find out that my mother turned him too? I thought I killed him. I thought I ended our pain. *I was sobbing at this point. Feeling helpless and hopeless*

Kathrine: Love look at me. I need you to look at me and match my breathing. In and out. In and out. *I start to try to breath with her. She puts her hand on my chest to feel my heart beat* Your doing great. One more. In and out. *She keeps her hand on my chest* Why is your heart still beating fast? *I get lost in her eyes. I want to look in them for hours. I shift my gaze to her lips. I want to feel them, taste her* Kiss me.

Me: *I get pulled out of my trance by her words* What?

Kathrine: *She shifts to straddle my abdomen laying me back on the bed* You heard me. Kiss me.

I don't need her to tell me again. She bends her head down as I grip her waist. I can feel her breath on my lips. Fuck it. I connect our lips in a soft kiss. Our tongues tangling as we both fight for dominance. She starts to move her hips on me and with that distraction she wins the battle. She grabs the back of my neck deepening the kiss. She continues to grind on me and I am getting harder by the second. Two can play it that way. I sit up and move her down so she is on top of my dick. She groans in my mouth while she continues grinding. Damn she is going to be the death of me. I part with her for a second to speak.

Me: Does this mean you feel the same for me? *I smile knowing the answer already*

Kathrine: Shut up *She says playfully. She looks into my eyes and leans back in to connect our lips. Sighing as she does* Yes, I have feelings for you. So you can court me now. *She says smirking at me*

Me: *I lay back throwing my arms back* Finally!

Kathrine: Dork. But thank you for sharing that part of yourself with me.

Me: I would do it again. I trust you love.

Kathrine: *She smiles and pecks my lips* Ok, I am tired. You can stay here if you want.

Me: Why don't you come to my room. The bed is bigger.

Kathrine: *She looks at me devilishly* What are you planning on doing?

Me: Sleep? Didn't you say you were tired?

Kathrine: Oh you poor thing. It went right over your head. *She starts to laugh*

I just shrug my shoulders and lead her to my room. She asks for one of my shirts to sleep in. So I just take the one I have on off and give it to her. I don't like sleeping in them anyway. I grab some sweats to put on and get in the bed. Not to long after she gets in the bed and lays on my chest, laying one leg on top of my waist as we drift to sleep.

AN* Yeeerr. Next paarrttt. How are yall liking this book so far?