ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅʀᴀᴛᴛᴇᴅ ʟɪʟᴀ ʜᴏʟᴍᴇꜱ || ᴅʀᴀᴄᴏ ᴍᴀʟꜰᴏʏ x ᴏᴄ || ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ 1-3

occlumency

I took a left at the staircase instead of a right with the rest of my house. Dean caught on to this instantly, as I had to release his little finger from mine to walk the other direction.

"Where are you off to?" He furrowed his brow at me.

"Detention." I lied. "With Snape."

"I thought that was on Friday?" He asked, his frown deepening.

"He changed his mind and gave me another one." I simply shrugged, though I knew this wouldn't work as well as it had on Harry and Ron. Even Hermione was still suspicious.

Dean blinked incredulously. "Weird for him, considering you're you."

"Yeah." I managed, avoiding his eyes. "Well, if I don't get eaten by a Dementor I'll be back a little after nine-thirty."

"I'll walk you," Dean offered quickly, stepping out of the moving line. For some reason, my heart started to pang again. Dean didn't know anything, and I didn't want him to. Would he still like me enough to fancy me and hold my hand, or even be my friend?

"What a gentleman," I smiled, though it was mostly sad. "I'll live. Get to bed, or finish that Charms homework that's already overdue."

"I insist," Dean stepped toward me anyway, and I found it to be comforting. He grinned at me, bright and warm as the torches lighting the halls. "Last time I let you wander off by yourself you didn't wake up for five and a half months."

I stared at him for a moment, but it didn't seem like he'd take no for an answer. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Touché," I said. "Let's go."

Dean left me only when we reached Professor Snape's office and he saw me inside. Snape told him to make haste and watch for Dementors, closing the door behind him after Dean had turned the corner. 

"Sit."

I did as I was told, taking a seat in the stool that I sat in for class at the front of the room. It was strange to be here alone.

"I can tell you're afraid," Professor Snape said bluntly. "And while that's good instinct, you need not be. I have a feeling you'll be able to grasp this concept well."

He began to go about the details of Occlumency and Legilimency both, emphasizing my part in the process: clear your mind, empty your thoughts, set your emotions aside, resist.

"There are several types of Seers, though there are so few of them that the lines between each type are quite blurred," Professor Snape explained. "From what the headmaster has told me, you seem to be an empath — particularly susceptible to people's emotions and their pasts. Hence why the Dementors affect you so potently."

I shuddered. That made sense, though I didn't bring up the one vision I'd had of Malfoy's tattoo in the future. Perhaps that one was a fluke.

"I'll be trying to break into your mind — it'll feel similar to what you felt around the Dementors — and I urge you to close your mind off and resist."

The first few attempts were not successful. Snape saw into many of my embarrassing, traumatic, or incriminating memories. One of the boys at my primary school dropping my journal in a fountain. The word "freak" written on my desk. Me blowing one of the older boys around with my anger controlling the wind, remorseless when his ankle broke. My father walking me out of school that same day, the tears in his eyes being the only reason I felt guilty.

"Control your emotions," Snape ordered after I'd resisted him just barely enough to come back to reality. I could feel sweat pooling on the back of my neck, and shame bubbling in my throat. I pushed it down, closing my eyes to breathe. It was hardly enough time to recover before he casted the spell again.