Greys anatomy (& Private Practice) women x reader oneshots

⚠️Dark Place (Callie Torres) P3

This is one of the more sensitive oneshots I'll write. Normally I make my stories light and cozy but I'm not really feeling it today.
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ TW - depression, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, disordered eating, suicide attempt, self harm, substance abuse, vomiting, basically everything

Im being serious don't ignore the warning ⚠️

Don't ignore the warnings

2 days later:

Your eyelids flutter open and you're suddenly aware that your whole body aches. Then you're hit with a tidal wave of panic. A whole tsunami of stress completely inundating and overwhelming you. You start to hyperventilate and look around the room.

"Woah! Hey it's ok! You're ok, honey." You become aware that Callie is sat next to you and you're in a hospital bed.

"Oh no." You whisper.

"Do you know what happened sweetheart?" She implores. Her tone was calm and empathetic.

It was all coming back to you. You remembered everything. And you were alive. You didn't know how to feel. You knew you should feel lucky but you couldn't help feeling disappointed. The memories of everything caused you to hyperventilate further. You couldn't catch a breath.

"It's ok, you're ok, deep breaths, ok?" Callie attempts to calm you down.

You ignored her. This wasn't meant to happen. You needed to get out. Out of this room. Out of the world. You can see there's a heart rate machine right next to your bed. It was very close - you could touch it with your head. That gave you an idea.

You hit your head as hard as you could against the machine. Again. Harder. Callie was trying to hold you down and move the machine with her other hand but you fought her. She was relentless.

"We need some help in here!" She called out.

Eventually you gave in, stopped hitting her, and stated sobbing into her chest. She let go of you and started soothing you.

"You're gonna be ok" she whispered into your hair, tears were streaming down her face too. But you continued to sob, hysterically, screaming at her to let you go so you could get out of this life. You'd left scratch marks up her arms where you'd tried to fight her off but she never let go of you.

The following day:

You were informed that you only broke a couple of ribs when you jumped off the roof and you perforated your abdomen, which needed surgery that they did when you were admitted, but other than that you were physically ok.

Mentally however... ha!

Because you were physically ok, they were moving you down to the psych ward today.

Callie hadn't left your side since you'd been admitted. You had a suspicion that she blamed herself. If only she'd got there 5 minutes sooner...

"It's ok." You say, groggily to her. You'd been in and out of naps all day because you'd refused to eat anything the night before - they let you get away with it because you blamed it on the stress of waking up in a different surrounding. But now you were extra exhausted. And you were on a lot of drugs, mainly pain killers but also diazepam. Every time you woke up Callie was still next to you. You honestly didn't think she cared this much.

"Huh?" She seemed confused.

"This isn't your fault Callie, you don't have to watch me every second of the day." You reassured her.