How To Fall From Grace [MxM]

Step 11: Fall behind

No matter how nonchalant he tried to be about it, Frey still couldn't help but avert his eyes as the carriage passed by the desecrated town hall of West Kerilia. He saw it now and then in nightmares, rather befittingly since it had been destroyed by a nightmare Blight, and he had no desire to see it in that condition again.

Hopefully the restoration wouldn't take too long.

Sighing, he brought out a pocket watch and stared at it with a blank expression. His mind apparently refused to focus on it, and as soon as he'd put it back into his coat he had forgotten what time it was. The inevitable memories terrorised him no matter how much he tried to suppress them. The state of the town as he'd returned back then, his father's strange appearance and the unknown whereabouts of his mother and sisters, his father more or less kidnapping him...

Frey closed his eyes and bit into his lip as images of his father's glowing eyes flashed before him, and then the crumbling of the treasure filled room as the grotesque creature made its way through the ceiling, tearing the entire building apart in the process.

Another unwelcome memory, and he raised a twitching hand to the scar. That scourgefucking scar that had caused so many to pity him, or sneer. Deep down he pitied himself as well. He'd smashed so many mirrors over the course of the year, anyone of the Ilevishan faith would faint at the thought, and it was likely going to happen again.

He gritted his teeth, trying to forget the pain of when the debris had hit him. To think he'd even been able to stay conscious, even if it had just been for a little while.

In the end he would've preferred to pass out then and there, to avoid the sight of what happened next.

He realised he was trying to blink tears away, and his hands began convulsing rapidly before he could clench them painfully hard to stop it. There they were. The intrusive memories of the Blight and his father, and suddenly half of his father was gone, and Frey's vision was blocked by blood stinging his eyes as it splashed over him.

Surprisingly enough, Marius was quiet. Frey didn't look at him, hoping that ignoring the man would make it easier to hide his imminent tears, but knowing that blabbermouth it seemed strange that he wasn't offering some comforting words.

Not that Frey wanted them or anything.

Finally relenting, he glanced over at Marius who he quickly noticed wasn't too cheerful either, staring out the window at the massacred building with a grave, almost suffering look in his eyes.

"If you're going to say something, you might as well do it now," Frey said, still not looking at him. They had spent hours in that carriage and Frey's mind could only keep up with eye contact and a collected exterior for so long.

"Would it help?" Marius asked, voice low and as serious as his expression. "What words could I say that would make it any easier?"

"I don't know," Frey admitted, staring down at his balled fists. "No one's been able to find those words so far, and it's been a year."

Marius shrugged.

"Best I can offer is a 'this must really suck'."

"That's the best you can offer?" Frey had to smile while blinking tears away. "You're not even trying to cheer me up."

"I'm not gonna pretend there's much to cheer up about. I know you think I'm rude but even I wouldn't tell you there's nothing to be sad about."

Frey's gaze wandered towards the devastating view again.

"... Good."

It didn't take long before the carriage stopped in front of a house of a mediocre standard. To Frey however, it was as if they'd entered a glorified version of The Entrails back in South Kerilia.