it's me [muke af]

fallin' apart//all american rejects

fallin' apart//all american rejects

Michael was in grey sweatpants, he brought out his pregnancy wear once more, extremely surprised it even fit him. He was a lot smaller at twenty-one than he is at thirty-nine. Michael supposes sweatpants are for everyone, even after Alex expressed her disgust for sweatpants in public. 

He flipped through a magazine at the pregnancy care doctor. It was an old copy of Vogue but Mike didn't really mind. He was simply trying to keep his nerves down unlike his husband. Luke had his knees shaking, bobbing up and down against the tiled floors. He was biting the nail of his index finger as his eyes scanned around the familiar surroundings. The classical music playing overhead didn't calm him, only freaked him out more. There were babies crawling on the ground and people with bloated stomachs. He jumped when Michael placed a hand on his thigh. 

"Please, calm down," he whispered. Mike put down the magazine, putting all of his attention on Luke. 

He sat up in his seat quickly, trying to calm himself. "I'm scared."

"There's nothing to be scared about, we've been through this twice."

Their last name was called as Luke got up first, holding out his hand for Michael. The two walked through the waiting room and into an observatory room. Mike sat on the stretched chair, smiling at the nurse as she took his blood pressure and such. 

Luke saw in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, pulling at his tight jeans and fiddling in his seat. The nurse left, saying their doctor would be in soon. 

Michael stared up at the familiar ceiling, he didn't think he would ever be in this chair again. "Remember when we came here with Alex?"

"You were already, like, five months pregnant. I missed the first one because you're a cock," Luke said with a pout.

Mike laughed as he rolled his head to the left and looked dreamily at Luke. "It's so weird how times have changed so much." His green eyes traced over Luke's features, there were wrinkles around the corners of his eyes. His once vibrant hue of blue seemed so dull as his eyes seemed so tired. He wasn't happy, even Mike could tell that. He looked miserable, he looked upset, he was annoyed. 

Their doctor walked in with the normal routine, normal questions. Mike knew how this all went. He lifted up his black sweatshirt, revealing his ghostly pale stomach. There was still the scar from his two C-sections, barely visible. Michael suddenly felt like he was about to faint at the thought of getting cut open once again. 

The cold liquid was placed over his stomach as their doctor smeared it around. Luke leant forward in his seat, reaching for his husband's hand. Their fingers connected loosely as the screen above them started to illuminate with a black and white picture. 

Their heads were both tilted towards it as the embryo became more clear. "That's our baby," Michael whispered, looking back at Luke.

He didn't really react. There were too many thoughts going through his head. He didn't want another child, at all. He didn't want that fetus going through the three different personalities. He didn't want to worry about one more child maybe carrying that MPD gene. 

Michael and their doctor were talking about future appointments plus vitamins, but Luke was so far out of it. 

He let go of his husband's hand, leaning back in his seat and rubbing his starting headache. He could see Mike was happy, he had a small smile on his lips. But, Luke was not. He was angry at Michael, he was angry at Ashton and Calum, he was angry at himself.

Luke remembers the first time Michael told him about his multiple personalities. It was December, fairly cold. They had just started dating, Luke being fifteen, then Michael seventeen.

The two lovers were laying in Luke's bedroom, the blonde had his arm around Michael's shoulder, his heavy head resting into the warm chest of his new lover. He was barely speaking above a whisper as Luke's parents didn't know Mike was over. 

He talked about his mother, how he seemed to always hate her. He wanted to get away, he knew one day he'd make it far away from her. He wanted to run and run and never come back. 

Luke asked why. He loved his mother, he could never imagine feeling anything but pure love towards the older women. Sure, they got in arguments, they disagreed quite often. But she was his mother. 

Michael started talking about Ashton, he was the only other personality at the time. Luke didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say. It was a lot of information, and Luke was scared. He likes control, and Michael has none. 

(a/n) fillersfdsodfjosijd