SHADOW POV
Blitzo:oh shit Stolas now is really not a good time
I was in the back of the car with Millie and Moxxie.
Stolas:I'm sorry to call at such a bad time again Blitzy but it appears I've found myself in a bot of a sitch. I'm tied on the back of a horse at the moment
Blitzo:lucky bitch
Stolas:unlucky actually. I seem to have been kidnapped by that cowboy friend of yours
Shadow:fuckin what?
Blitzo:which one
Moxxie:how many Cowboys do you know? What does he look like your highness?
Stolas:sexy?
Oh no.
Shadow:is he like really western themed with a lasso and holy weapons?
Stolas:yes
Shadow:oh shit...
FLASHBACK
Cowboy:so how much?
Shadow:for a fellow hired killer I give you the full price. I only get the shit to make this once a year. I can give you with the package one box of ammo for each gun and a sharpening stone for the knife for two hundred more
Cowboy:you drive a hard barging shadow man...but my clients paying so ill take what you got
FLASHBACK END
Shadow:yeah I should really do more thorough background checks on my clients
Millie:how do you even make them?
Shadow:I use the corpses of the angels I kill every year. Their horns, teeth, wings, weapons you name it
Blitzo:fuck!
He smashed his phone again. Man I should really pay attention more during my flashbacks.
Moxxie:me and Millie can take him sir
Blitzo:Shadow go with them and for fuck sake do background checks!
Shadow:fuckin fine! I will! Come on you little red love birds
I grabbed Millie and Moxxie and jumped out the window. I placed them down.
Millie:so where do you think he is?
Shadow:Wrath. Guaranteed
I made my shadow grow and I picked them up as we sank in.
Shadow:also don't breath you'll die
They did before we were transported to Wrath. We stepped out my shadow and looked around the wasteland.
Shadow:okay let's ask for directions at that gas station. They always know
Millie:how do you-
Shadow:I hunted inbreds from Texas and Alabama I know what I'm doing
Moxxie:but how do you know he's inbred?
Shadow:trust me I know
We walked up and saw four little Imps.
Millie:excuse me have you seen this mother fucker anywhere?
She showed a poorly hand drawn picture of Striker. When did she do that?
Imps:STRIKER!
Millie:no! No singing a yes or no please
I saw Moxxie killing a fee bikers behind us.
Shadow:are ya winning Mox?
She snapped the last ones next.
Moxxie:I always win
Shadow:not at Manopoly
Moxxie:you cheat
Shadow:how can I cheat at fucking Manoploly!?
It's really easy I just hit Moxxie with a bat whenever he moves and then I move it back. I continue this until he lands on one of my property's or somethings that will fuck him over. And he remembers nothing.
Millie:we got a lead. That mountain in an old train tunnel
Shadow:wow really going for the whole Outlaw thing...oh well let's go
After I teleported us there we saw Striker about to kill Stolas.
Shadow:alright let's do this shit
I appeared behind Striker.
Stolas:hello Shadow...
Oh shit he might die soon.
Striker:oh hey Shadow-SHADOW!?
Shadow:sup inbred
I kicked him into a wall.
Shadow:your highness
He was now unconscious. I cut him free.
Shadow:I got snake boy you two get Stolas to a hospital
I cracked my neck. Striker pulled out two of the revolvers I sold him.
Shadow:y'know I made those right?
Striker:oh yeah. Thanks for that by the way, you'll die to your own guns
Shadow:HA! The fuck I will!
Before he fired the guns exploded and out came two of my little Shadows went on my shoulder.
Shadow:you think I'd sell you top self shit? Please I can always kill more Angel's later Cowboy!
He tried to stab me with the knife but I let it get stuck in my hand. I lifted him up and slammed him into the ground.
Shadow:I've been doing this shit before you were in your Brothers balls!
Striker:wha-?
Shadow:I assume your inbred
Striker:foster child
Shadow:oh shit same dude
I punched him in the face and lifted him up again.
Shadow:anyway back to what I was saying...ahem. You think you can really kill me? Me!? Blessed weapons don't do shit! Hell fears me! Heaven hates me!
I slammed him into a wall.
Shadow:they all know me...I am the Shadow King you southern Inbred backwater born fuck!
He pulled out another blessed gun and shot me in the chedt six times.
Striker:how...?
Shadow:I got a promoted from Sinner
We heard cracking and both looked up.
Shadow:I really don't know my own strength
The top platform above us collapsed cause I slam too hard. Verosika doesn't complain. Anyway it landed on us, I was fine Striker was gone and I went to the Hospital where I found Paparazzi and Blitzo looking extremely sad.
Shadow:sup boss
Blitzo:you didn't tell me he can get hurt!
Shadow:I thought you didn't give a shit so I never mentioned it
Loona walked past with a cone on her head and fell in the van.
Shadow:Loona you good?
She didn't move.
Shadow:that's a good sign
Blitzo:hey Shadow your chest is burning
Shadow:oh yeah mu bluff. I told Striker he can't kill me with Blessed weapons
Blitzo:can't he?
Shadow:oh yeah I just have a good poker face...I'm going to die now
I was out cold.
