One Last Smile

Entry #15

Entry #15

November 21, 2022

Dear Diary,

After that episode of our family feud, my family began to change. My own mother reasoned out with my grandmother and they finally made peace. Dad gained my Mom's respect and they sort of had this agreement. Mom didn't have to work anymore as Dad would provide more, and I think he told her that he had been providing me money too. Mom was beginning to doubt why my bank account is rising.

However, kuya DJ was still in the dark. Ayaw pa rin niyang tanggapin. Kahit ako, ayokong tanggapin na wala na talagang pag-asa para mabuo ulit yung pamilya namin. Ang hirap kase...nagbunga yung pagtataksil ni Dad. I wished Naomi wasn't born, but she's only a child, and even if I'm hostile towards her, I know that I can't direct all my anger towards her. It hurts to see her receive the love her father showered her when I was supposed to experience that.

Kuya DJ wanted to shun Dad na. I know that despite his tough appearance, hides a fragile Dylan.

I wished closure for our family. I guess now is truly the time to make amends.

_______

"Ma, pupunta muna ako sa mall. Window shopping lang siguro." She looked at me with doubt and she jokingly teased me. But Mom didn't know that I was going with Kyan, although she might have that thought in the back of her mind already.

She stood up and took her wallet before she asked me if I wanted some pocket money. I eagerly awaited it and she gave me quite a bit. "You're the best, Mom!"

Kyan and I walked around the mall with joy and contentment. We were inside Miniso, looking for matching things. I wanted to get him some plushies while he wanted to get me some cute headbands. I hated frogs but the headband was cute so I let him be. Next, we took pictures and spoiled ourselves with foods such as ice cream, pasta, pizza, and fries!

I was happy. I could look at him and proudly say that he makes me happy. I am in love.

"I was wondering, what would your Mom think of me, Dez?" He asked as he twirled his fork. I stopped munching down my french fries as I took a glance at him. "My Mom thinks you're amazing, actually. However, you need to be cautious of my brother. My Dad...he's...let's say he went astray. But if you were to meet him, I'd say that you have to be brave. I wouldn't know about his thoughts on the relationship with his daughter since he never doted on me."

Tinignan niya ako na para bang nag-aalala siya sa pakiramdam ko. He must've felt sorry for asking kasi pagkatapos kong sagutin yung tanong niya ay humingi siya ng patawad. It's not like I could keep it forever.

I tapped the table hoping to break it to him. Hindi ko kaya...this awkwardness... "Uhm...can we not talk about my family, Kyan?"

"I was only asking about them because I'm worried that they'll be against me and our relationship. Alam mo, if I had to keep still and wait and hope that you won't like someone else, wala sana tayong proproblemahin. But I feared that Vaughn would make a move."

"What makes you think that Vaughn and I would click?" He scratched the back of his neck as he sighed. "For one, he's straight."

"Here we go again..." I gave him a tight smile before I stood up. "Let's go find some fun. Batukan sana kita, puro ka Vaughn."

"Natakot lang ako, okay? I am facing a battle. You make me feel something unexplainable and the thought of you with Vaughn haunts me."

That's sweet.

"Awe, wala ka namang dapat ikatakot. Baliw na baliw kasi ako sayo, Cerys Kyan. Itatak mo yan sa kokote mo—What the hell?" Pagmumura ko nang may kumapit sa baywang ko.

It was Naomi. She was hugging me tightly and gave me a sweet smile. Kasasabi ko palang na ayoko nang magalit pero heto ako, naiinis. "Hi, Naomi," I forced a smile at her, hoping that my whole self could cooperate.

Kyan looked at me na para bang natatawa siya sa sitwasyon ko. "Sino siya? Pinsan mo?" Agad akong tumugon.

"Kapatid ko." I heaved a sigh before I stoop down to her level. "Where's your ma?" She suddenly pointed to a restaurant and I saw that witch observing us. Shit.

Somehow, I knew that she was judging me. That witch then approached us to take her daughter back. "I told you to not hurt her," she spat at me.

"And I did not. You're lucky that Naomi approached me and not some other stranger."

"Hello po, tit—" I quickly corrected Kyan who already bowed at her. "She's not my mother."

He looked so confused. We were just getting ourselves really uncomfy so I decided to leave dragging Kyan. However, before I could do that, the little tadpole once again stopped me. "A-Ate..."

Her mother held her now and scoffed at me. Then, she raised her brows before she chuckled as if the sight in front of her amused her so much. "Oh, this must be one of the youthful misadventures of yours—"

Pwede bang sapakin siya? "Stop. Honestly, kung ayaw mong sabunutan kita, tumahimik ka."

"I'm going to keep this from your father, but let's see how he's going to react when he finds out, dear step-daughter."

We both walked away from that witch. I badly wanted to cry but Kyan looked perplexed right now and he had been following me only because I'd been dragging him. So, when we were at the Terraces, I stopped to sit down. He was in front of me, watching me slowly breaking down.

"Hey, why are you crying? It's okay..." he hugged me tight as he rubbed my back. I looked up at him and shook my head. "I'm really sorry, Kyan. This wasn't supposed to turn out bad, you know. I never intend to show you the dark side of me, my family."

"Hindi...okay lang. Ano ka ba? We never expected that so it should be okay, diba? Besides, I don't have any say in your family. Dez, okay lang."

"No, you don't understand..."

_______

My mind's been messed up lately. I'm up to something...anyway, it's a secret for now.

Happy reading, my palangga! 

— Crruuxxx