Broken Connection✔️

{19} Selfish.

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I try flipping over but Im caged in. The feeling of arms wrapped around me makes me sigh in place and realize I'm just being hugged. I open my eyes only to shut them again because the sunlight of the rising sun just blinded me. A groan roars in my ear and I'm pulled closer to Grayson. When I look over my shoulder I see an asleep Grayson with cuddling affection.

This is no surprise to me considering we did this all the time when we were younger. Before he left and before he grew distant he had weirdly grown ten times more affectionate to me. Less of his attention was on his girlfriend. More of it was on me.

I remember one day we were watching a movie, me, Grayson, and of course Jessica. Jason, Rose, and Adrien were also in the theater but they weren't movie fans so they had fallen asleep pretty quickly.  Anyways that day we ended up sitting on the huge beanbag in the back and I ended up in between Jes and Grayson. It's not like I was intentionally doing stuff with Grayson but it wasn't weird to me. He was my best friend. He may have been my sister's boyfriend but hey, I had no one else and I never felt like it was causing problems so we both never stopped.

Grayson had thrown a blanket over us and I had laid my head on his shoulder as I began dozing off. I could feel Grayson look over my head to Jessica who had also fallen asleep before he wrapped an arm around me and tugged me closer. This was only one of the many times Grayson deepened an interaction. On multiple occasions when we were alone I somehow ended up really close to Grayson and in his arms. 

Now when I think about it it was wrong. But again I was a naive young idiot who craved the affection of a friend. 

As you can see I only built up feelings that I denied. Now I'm half naked laying in bed with Grayson. The morning after I slept with him. Twice.

Suddenly I get the urge to pee so I gently remove Grayson's arm from over me and climb out of bed.

As I walk to the bathroom I pick up Grayson's dress shirt and put it on. Leaving the buttons open, just wearing it as a type of warmth. When I get into the restroom I stare at myself in the mirror. There was a hickey on my neck and my hair was tangled. I just fluff it out and ignore the hickey. 

I should cover that up before I go around my family. 

After I've used the bathroom and washed my hands I walk to the kitchen, Grayson still fast asleep. I open a cabinet and lucky enough I find the cups, so I take one and walk over to the fridge. A yawn escapes me as I watch the water pour into the cup.

"Hi." I gasp in fear hearing a younger voice and spill water all over the floor. Confused, I look up and see not a single figure. "You're Evelyn right?" I pinpoint the voice and look to the entrance of the kitchen finding Brody. My body relaxes and I set the glass on the counter.

"Jesus kid you scared the shi-" I stop. We both stare at each other. Don't swear in front of the poor kid. "What are you doing here?" I ask crossing my arms. "Rose and Adrien had stuff to do and my parents were too. They knew Gray would be here and I wanted to see him so they dropped me off." I slowly nod and realize what I'm wearing. Or more like what I'm not wearing.

"Be right back k'?" Brody nods and walks back to the living room with his Ipad in hand. I keep an eye on him and when he's sat down on the couch I jog up the stairs and into the room. "Grayson?" Nothing. He's still asleep.

I clear my throat and walk to the bed. "Grayson." No response. I huff and climb onto the bed. With my hand on his arm, I give him a gentle shake. He finally wakes up. Slowly.

Grayson lets out a low groan and slightly opens his eyes to me. "So um, little problem." I laugh nervously but then I'm gasping. Grayson grabs my arm and pulls me onto his body. "Grayson no," He starts exploring my body and pulling off the dress shirt I stole from him so I slap his hand away and climb off. "Grayson, Brody is downstairs and to say he scared the shit out of me is an understatement."

Grayson sits up and immediately starts getting dressed. "Did he say why he's here?" He asks pulling on a T-shirt and jeans. "Something about everyone being busy," I answer slipping my dress on. "I'm sorry." He comes around the bed and cups my face. I just smile. "It's ok." 

It weirds me out a little how fast we've changed from arguing to being soft best friends. Minus the forgnivess. What I can't keep out of my mind is one day having to tell Grayson about Trevor.

Stop. 

I blink and swallow. "What?" He asks. "Huh?" He stares down at me and squints his eyes. "You looked scared for a second." I hate that he knows these little things about me. Hate that Grayson still knows me this much even after so many years. "Im good." I step around him and try walking out of the room but I stop. "Evelyn."

I turn around. "Can you promise me something?" My lips part. This seems like a scene I've been in. Only this time the roles are reversed. Now it's Grayson asking me to promise and I'm sitting here knowing I probably won't be able to keep it. But I'll say yes because I care about him.

Because Im afraid he'll walk away right now.

"Promise me you're being truthful with me." He walks closer and the space to breathe grows smaller. "Promise on this relationship you aren't hiding anything." I want to cry. Cry and tell him everything but-

"I promise." 

It's too late.

"Okay." He plants a kiss on my head and then looks down at me with a smile on his lips. Brushes a strand behind my ear. "You've owned my heart for seven years Evelyn." He cups my face. I'm looking up at him through my eyelashes and I'm lost in him. It happens. Every time.

I lose my self-control with him.

"And you might be the only thing that keeps it beating." Grayson takes one of my hands and I watch as he places it over his heart. I feel a slight beating rhythm. My eyes come back up to him. A little wider than before. More knowing. 

"That's what you do to me, Evelyn." With every word, it's like he punctures my heart with a needle. Then I realize what I'm doing. Lying to him. And the needle falls out. A small hole stays behind. My heart deflating slowly.

"We may moving a little fast but I've wanted this for years," Grayson whispers.

"I think we both have."

"Be my girlfriend." My eyes flutter. "Take this heart. It's yours. It always has been, since the day I met you." Grayson wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. I stumble into his chest. "Please, I'm begging you." 

I stare at him, my lips parted. "I-" The way he's looking at me, it's making me drown. His love is like a huge wave that pulls me under the surface. And in the end, it keeps hitting me so I just stay under the waves and become one with the love he shows me. 

"Yes." 

Grasyons lips are on mine. A soft kiss. And it's driving me. Insane. 

My hands slip behind his neck and into his hair. I pull him closer and then Im gently being pressed against the nearest wall. We sigh into each other before Grayson pulls away and rests his head against mine. "Just so you know," He swallows. Looks me in the eyes. 

I start drowning again.

"Im falling madly in love with you. You know that right?" I nod and kiss him again. Pull away. "me too-"

The door swings open and Brody is standing there with his tablet in hand. "I'm hungry Gray."Grayson looks at him. Then at me.  We both give each other a look and then laugh. "Yeah, c'mon bud."

He gently pushes Brody ahead of him and towards the kitchen. I stand there for a moment. Blink. My smile fades.

When this falls apart it's my fault.

When I end up lonely I'll think of this moment. The moment I ruined my future with the one good thing in my life. 

"Evelyn come on!" Brody yells. 

I wipe away a falling tear and make my way to the kitchen.