Star Wars (Legends):The Eternal Conflict. Book:2

Chapter 5 ( Shadree's Story)

Location: Naberrie Lake house on the planet Naboo, 6 month ago, right after the Battle of Kesh.

The most egregious crime a young man Ben's age could commit was....
Smelling Bad!
Ben, indeed, smelled bad!

He had been packed inside a battle ship, then stuffed inside an Jedi StealthX, then trapped inside a one person cockpit with another person for hours.

Any other time, he would've been horrified, especially with a female no less then 5 feet away. But this wasn't any other time and she wasn't just any other person. So he just sat there next to Vestara's Medbed in his rank robes and with his head held in his hands. He felt like the last 3 days were a dream. Was he still dreaming?

He couldn't help but to look at his recent actions with a  certain degree of detachment. It was like someone else was controlling him.

He had spared the life of the most vile person in the universe (from his perspective), and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Why? "WHY?" He nearly yelled in frustration.

"You know why Ben." A warm voice said. Ben was paralyzed with shock, joy, sadness, and a thousand other emotions at hearing that voice. He lifted his head up from his hands and there... There she was: Master Mara Jade Skywalker. Mom. She stood before him a translucent glowing vision of Love and calm.

"Mom!" He said in the cracking voice of a boy several years younger than himself. She kneeled down in front of him, and wore an expression on her face she had always reserved for her Son. The rest of the Galaxy had known Mara as a cruise missile; completely focused, unstoppable, showing no regret or hesitation. But to Ben she was the epitome of warmth, tenderness, and patience. She was always there when he needed her. And though he had not known it, he needed her now.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he just soaked in the moment, tucking it in behind his heart where it would reside for eternity.
"No Mom. I really DONT know." He replied to her previous statement while wiping his cheeks dry.
"Even she knows that she's not redeemable! That's why she begged me to kill her...I... I think I made a big mistake Mom... UGH!" He let out a sigh of frustration.

"I can't ever see her coming to the light." He said with a voice that was one part shattered hope and one part begrudging self awareness.

Mara closed here eyes, as if trying to identify a song being played at nearly inaudible level. She then open her eyes and shook her head slowly.

"No... No, I think you're right. Her future does not lay in the light."

In response to Mara's words Ben's entire body seemingly deflated by about an inch. Ben already new it to be true, but that didn't make it any less jarring to hear.

"...And Ben..." she said, recapturing his attention. "That is absolutely fine!"

"What?" Ben was blindsided.

Smiling at his confusion Mara continued on in an ever patient tone: "Look where you are Ben! Look at the people here! Do you think Tahiri, Raynar, and Dena were just random people that followed your father? Think about it! They have experienced the Dark as well as the light.
Search your feelings Ben!"

He narrowed his eyes almost to the point of closing them and then after a few seconds opened them up fully and said: "Her future is here, with the order of balance.... but... I can't tell if it's the force telling me that or my own heart trying to trick me again.

"Ben! I am the Force! remember? And I'm telling you: Your right! But I warn you: Her Journey to balance will not be a smooth one, so don't give up on her."