S1 ⭒ Episode Five

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"It's the sweetest sour high..."
One Night • Matthew Koma (2013)

BLAME IT ON THE TEQUILA

Priscilla Wolfe

Dress? Check.

Hors d'oeuvres? Check.

Champagne? Check.

Party Decorations? Check.

And finally, people to party with?

"Check," I mutter to myself as everyone emerges from their rooms, laughing and talking their way down the hallway to the common room. I grab champagne and hold it up, and the second that I see Alanis, Blue, Daisy, Mars, and Kim, I raise them, "Who's ready to party?"

Daisy Mae whips her head over with a big smile and claps her hands, "You betcha, darlin'! I am ready to..." She slows down the second she passes the kitchen and as I gently shake the alcohol, her smile fades.

She comes to a full stop in front of the group and spreads her arms out wide to hold them off, "Whoa, whoa... whoa. What in fucks name is this?"

"What do you mean? It's a party," I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, "Like I promised. Isn't it so nice in here? C'mon, we can all have drinks."

"Mm-mm." Mars disagrees, "If this is a party, then what I did in Vegas? Mm-mm..." He shakes his head slowly and I can see the flashbacks in his eyes, "No ma'am. Lock me up."

"Yeah, what is this snoozefest?" Alanis looks around, unimpressed.

"Snoozefest? Wh—it's not a snoozefest. Look," I gesture down toward the table, "There's plenty of food to eat," Then I point around me, "I blew up balloons and decorated, and," I wave the champagne once again, "I got drinks. Those things all make a party if you let it."

"But, where's the karaoke machine?" Daisy frowns, "And the bubble machine? And all the other fun machines that... make fun."

"Yeah, and the real alcohol. Champagne? Really?" Kim steps forward and takes the bottle from me, "This is for baby showers and weddings and funerals that you're really happy about, not parties."

I furrow my brows, "What do you—"

Blue steps forward and interrupts me, "And what the hell is this food? I taught you better than this," He lifts up an appetizer and sniffs it before he gags, "Is that blue cheese?"

"They're walnut and blue cheese stuffed mushrooms—"

"Oh my God," He drops it and covers his mouth as he steps away from me, "Don't you dare say that to me."

Alanis grabs his arm, "Shh, shh, babe. The bad food isn't real. It can't hurt you—"

"Did you..." He gulps loudly, "Did y-you use my culinary knives?"

His hands tremble as he toys with his lips.

His face is the true picture of horror, worse than the time he caught Mars high as a kite in the kitchen, making a sandwich with bare bread and cheese.

"What's the big deal? I borrowed them—"

"No! No! No, you didn't! Tell me you didn't use my babies' for this monstrosity!" He sobs dramatically and shakes his head as he buries his face into Alanis's neck and trembles,  "Hold me, 'Lanis, hold me tight."

"Oh come on," I complain, "It's not that bad. You're all being so dramatic. This is gonna be fun. I even planned out games." I pull out my phone and check my list, "We play charades first at six, and then we—"

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