Priscilla

S5 ⭒ Episode One

"Darling, darling that dam's gonna give.
It's inevitable the way that you live..."
♪ Dogwood Blossom • Fionn Regan

IF I COULD BOTTLE UP YOUR AFFECTION

Halen Elle

"Goodmorning, everyone."

Everyone is not everyone today.

"I know today is the start of what is going to be a very, very busy month. So, I won't make it harder by taking up too much of your time, but I wanted to gather you all here and just offer some words of support, as well as some news..."

Priscilla is not here. As far as I am concerned, the 'everyone' in front of me is no one. Her empty space beside Daisy Mae on the couch is as noticeable and unsettling as a whistling kettle.

"First and foremost, you all know Mr. Berry, our company therapist. I am happy to announce that he has been appointed by corporate to..." Fox takes a deep breath and plasters on a fake smile, gesturing to the clown resembling man much too close to me, "Come onto our team as an advisor beside me-"

"Well," The man has the 'hyucking' laughter of a cartoon character and the loud triangular orange tie to match.

"I am technically in charge. I am the boss. Of all of you. Don't be mistaken," He seems to stop to cackle every ten seconds, "This house has come to our attention for it's issues oh yeah-- but! Fantastic Mr. Fox and I here!" He nudges Fox like they're old pals and then wraps an arm around his shoulder, "We are definitely going to make sure that this transition is as smooth as can be! Am I right? The happy train will keep on rollin'!"

"Of course." Fox bites his tongue and nods, smiling at everyone, "He will be here when I am not available, whether that is for filming or otherwise. If you have questions or concerns, he's the person you can go to-"

"Yep-a-rooney!" Berry interrupts, "And don't you all worry, I will still be on as your therapist. All appointments booked are still standing. I'm not going anywhere. If anything, you'll be seeing a lot more of me, which is just so fun, isn't it? You all are such a wonderful bunch, I'm looking forward to it!"

"Great-"

"I will say though--" Berry interrupts Fox and then pauses, "It is alright if I say something, isn't it, Fox?"

Fox presses his lips together and steps back with me, "By all means."

"All-right!" Berry gives him weak finger-guns and then spins around.

"You all are so amazing. I..." He holds a hand to his heart, "I am so honored to be here and to learn more about ya! However, you know," He winces, rattling his hand, "Rules are rules, I'm afraid! And... a part of the reason I'm here is to make sure that we all stay, say it with me..." He rolls his wrist toward the crowd.

"Safe and secure." They all drone on.

I can only assume it's his therapy mantra for all of them.

I can tell by the looks on my roommates faces that they are used to his nasal enthusiasm and their ears have been trained to no longer bleed at the sound of his snort.

"You betcha. So, if you know of anyone in the house breaking rules or engaging in unsafe behavior, what should you do?"

"He is talking to them like they are children." Fox whispers to me, "When did our Porn studio become a Kindergarten class?"

"Uh oh! Looks like we have a couple of chatty cathy's back here. Excuse me gentleman, could you please uh..." Berry pretends to zip his lips closed and throw away the key with mimed silent laughter.