"Soobin! I'm leaving to get some groceries, do you need anything?" Her dull voice projects from the empty kitchen to my sensitive ears, which tickles my eardrums. That voice is my girlfriend, she only goes by her English name which would be Darla. Why? I have no clue, she refrains from telling me. Two words to describe our relationship would be..awkward and strange. Darla has a lot of boundaries whilst I don't it's hard for me to set them.
DARLA'S BOUNDARY LIST • Do not ask me about my K name • Do not go out (without me) • Do not go in my room • Tell me before a friend comes over • Do not ask me about where I go • Don't call me or text me during work • Do not hug, kiss or touch me. • No pet names.
I'm a people pleaser, and for opposites this boundary list is overwhelming but for me it's decent respect. This is my first ever relationship, what you see online in dramas and stuff is not realistic but rather false hope. Now I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate Darla, I just feel a bit breathless in this situation where I feel like a duckling following its mother until it leaves for the baby to survive on its own. I've been waiting for that day, where she leaves me for another, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.
"Can I go with you?" I walk out my room and lean on the doorframe facing her, she's weirdly overdressed for shopping. "No, I want to go by myself." She sighs out, putting on her boots, clearly bothered from my tone but I have a valid reason to ask, "I haven't been out in 2 weeks though.." I walk further, using my eyes to express desperation; in return I recieve an even more agitated sigh, "Atleast you're close to finishing that novel. I'm not letting you come with me because I want you to finish it today. Maybe then we can go out." She pours out her reasonings so quickly I give up and just waddle back into my room due to failure. Then I have an idea, I want Beomgyu to come over! Beomgyu is my bestest best friend, there's never been a day where we haven't talked, we are always honest and tell eachother everything no matter how secretive it is. He is also super handsome in a non homosexual way, I prefer him over everyone in this world. We even call every night and almost sleep on call together, even if he isn't there physically, his aura is comforting enough.
I can break one boundary right? She probably won't come back till evening. Darla will get distracted by her friends and leave me here alone, like always. The idea of that is somewhat comforting. The mere thought of her leaving makes me happy, so I rush onto my phone to text Beomgyu.
Beomie <33 - - - - - - - - - - ONLINE
Today at 3:40 PM on 4 June
BEOMIEE!~ -read- DARLA ISN'T HOME HANG OUT WITH ME BEOMIE!! -read-
HYUNG I WANT TO BUT I NEED TO GO TO BUSAN FOR WORK TODAY :(( -read-
Awh I was looking forward to hanging out with you >:(( -read-
Sorry Hyung. -read- message has been deleted I wish I could be with you all the time -read- :(( -read-
Welp, guess I'll go back to work. -read- Have fun Beomgyu <33 -read-
Hyung I'm sorry! -read- I miss you. -read- I'll send you a picture one minute! -read-
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-read-
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What a shit day, IM HUNGRY AND THERE'S NOTHING AT HOME. I can't go outside to eat food because there's cameras in the house that Darla watches. Wait. I can order food. IM SO STUPID FOR FUCKS SAKE. As I realise my stupidity, my legs shake shambling to the balcony, my phone is on a fast website but on the screen there's an enlarged message that ruins my plans. NO ORDERS AVAILABLE BECAUSE OF WEATHER CONDITIONS. "What.The.Actual.Fuck, guess I'm starving." This actually may be the worst day ever.
I go back to the picture of Beomgyu I downloaded and strangely admire it, throughout the day I have the urge to continuously go back and stare. He is my best friend. He is my best friend. He is my best friend
