18 going on 38

chapter 8

"Okay, Carina. I've stopped bringing it up, because I could tell it upset you. But I think you have to tell me what's wrong with you." Maya said, stroking some hair away from Carina's sweaty forehead. She'd been halfway through her smoothie when she'd heard retching from the bathroom, that was the second time today and Maya was getting really worried.

Carina chuckled a little, and Maya didn't understand what could possibly be funny.

"Nothing is wrong." She said.

"That can't be true. You're sick, Carina." They were sitting on the bathroom floor again, Carina in between Maya's legs. She gripped Maya's thigh, and the blonde could sense she was nervous about something.

"It's morning sickness." She whispered.

"It's seven in the evening." Maya countered immediately.

"I know, but that's what it's called when you're-" she trailed off.

Morning sickness.

Oh.

OH.

But how?

She was pretty sure it was impossible for two women to make a baby. So that left only one possibility.

"You slept with someone else." Carina turned around abruptly and grabbed Maya's face. Maya tried to shrug away, really not wanting to be touched by Carina right then.

"Oh god no bambina, look at me." Maya did. "We wanted this, the both of us. I haven't slept with anyone but you since we met."

"I've never even had sex." Maya exclaimed. She wasn't sure why she said it. She just needed Carina to explain how the hell she could be pregnant.

Pregnant.

There was a baby inside of her.

A baby they supposedly made together?

"Well, technically this baby wasn't made by having sex either, but that's beside the point. We used a sperm donor." She laughed, and Maya didn't find it funny.

"How long until you have your baby?" Maya asked, mentally preparing herself for when she had to move out. What was she going to do? She'd be all alone.

Carina's face fell.

"About eight months." Tears formed in her eyes and Maya itched to dry them away. She was so confused by all this. She was mad, and sad at Carina, but she also wanted nothing but to hold her tight and say she'd be okay. She would be a great mother, Maya had no doubt.

"What are you thinking about?"

"That your kid will be the luckiest in the world." She looked down.

"Not our kid?" She mumbled and Maya froze. Did Carina want her around after the baby was born? Maya couldn't be a mother, Carina had to know that.

"I, ehh-" Her mind went to Sally, a girl from her class who fell pregnant last year, or not last year, but in Maya's mind it was. She had kept the baby and she was only sixteen at the time. Maya had shaken her head at the girl. Why would anyone ever want kids? And why the hell would you have one at such a young age? Kids were an old person thing. A problem for the future, but Maya realised sadly that this was the future and apparently she'd agreed to have a kid.

"Don't answer." Carina said. "I don't think I can hear it right now."

Maya realised then that she would never be enough for this woman sitting in her lap. She was so sad, heartbroken, and it was all Maya's doing. She'd hurt Carina.

Carina who was pregnant.

With their baby apparently.

"There's one more thing you should know." Carina mumbled as she picked at her fingers.