THERE'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE

33| riversiders

Kabrinas pov

I spent two weeks mostly wallowing in self-pity I watched millions of romcoms and listened to sad music that only made me sadder. I was miserable it was kind of funny really I was acting more depressed about this than when Jordan had cheated on me. And me and Tyrece had never even dated!

Jake had brought me sleeping pills to help me sleep through the night since all the gang stuff and the violence was making it hard for me to.

He had also found me a therapist that I could talk to. I was extremely grateful and he had made me promise him that I wouldn't drink anymore.

For the two weeks I wasn't in school I deep cleaned my room, caught up on all the class homework and studied for our January mocks. I even started sewing again, I had told Jaxson that I would help him with the costumes for his school play.

I did everything in my power so that I wouldn't think about him. So when his brother called me to check up on me I nearly lost it, especially when he asked to meet. I secretly hoped Tyrece would come and confess to me or something.

After telling my cousin Layla this she said I was incredibly delusional and knocked some sense into me. I didn't tell her Tyrece was the guy though I just said it was some guy from out of town.

I noticed that without Tyrece I was getting irritated a lot more at things. Dianne told me it was because I was sexually frustrated. I wasn't sure just how much of this I could take. I wanted to be kissed, I wanted to be held I wanted intimacy. I craved it so much that at night I found myself hugging my Hello Kitty plushies tightly.

  ......

Occasionally Jaxson would come over and we would play video games with Jake and Liam downstairs.

"Fuck how did you beat us again I don't understand?" Jake asked confused as he stared at me and Jaxson in disbelief " This is impossible me and Liam are usually very good,"

Jaxson shrugs " Maybe your not as good as you think "He says as he laughs.

"No it's because Liams letting you win," Jake accuses, as he side-eyes Liam, Liam just holds his hands up in fake surrender offended at my brother's accusation causing all of us except Jake to laugh.

It was very clear what was going on here Liam was letting me and Jaxson win because it made Jaxson happy. It was actually kind of cute.

After a while Jaxson went home to work on his school play and eventually so did Liam. I decided to take a walk around town and just look and admire nature. I went to a shop in our city centre to buy a drink and a group of girls walked in and looked at me I could have sworn they were talking about me amongst themselves. My heartbeat increased but I quickly paid for my drink and left. I began to speed away, west aiders scared me so much I had never had any good experiences with them.

I ended up in a park, I just sat there and drank my juice and admired the trees and the greenery. It was so calming and so nice to be with nature. My mind drifted to Tyrece and that day in his room and all the stuff he did to me. I began to get turned on which pissed me off.  His hands had been so careful with me but his tongue was so rough and so big. Maybe I was an idiot I had let go of a guy that gave me amazing head, what was wrong with me??? Fuck commitment I needed regular and constant head. I felt ashamed for having these thoughts, I was never like this before. He had made me like this and I hated him for it.

After some time I got up and made my way home. When I was back I heard familiar noises coming from my living room. Jake and someone seemed to be talking. Rather arguing actually, the door was slightly open so I peaked.