chronically online

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perhaps it was a generational thing, or due to the fact that i'd had a sheltered childhood, but i experienced life through films, quotes, and anecdotes from strangers online before i ever experienced it myself. when my middle school friend made an unintentionally jabbing joke, i blocked her contact and ignored her in class since instagram told me to cut off the haters. when my first boyfriend fell in unrequited love with me, i reluctantly harbored it because a reddit user mentioned that i should marry my best friend. when i felt bad about a low grade on a test, i must have been a perfectionist with a type a personality. when i skipped breakfast because i was running late to the bus, i was probably severely anorexic. i appreciated that i could turn to media to be understood when reality wasn't sufficient for me, but i would have liked the chance to live and learn according to my own emotions, opinions, and principles, or at least to have established them without interference.

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