Amnesiac swimmer

Chapter 17 : "Marie"

- Middle of the night - 

 01:43 ━━━━●───── 03:50

I understand Lindsey is very weak and vulnerable right now. From what I heard, a lot of bad things happened to her in a short amount of time. She needs attention and affection from her family. It's understandable and I don't blame her or anyone because I don't care. I don't need affection or attention, all I do need is someone to come pick me up from the hospital. 

The Millers forgot about me, again. Last time, I went to Max to drive me and I called Rebecca to come pick me up and drive me home. Liam and Silver - menaced by the sunshine - walk home with me after the swimming training because James doesn't come anymore. The coach didn't even sign him up for the next competition. 

The worst is that: Lindsey wakes up, every night, screaming. She has been having nightmares ever since she arrived. Usually, the others go to her room and comfort her. Then they spend the whole night by her side. But tonight, no one woke up. No one but me.  She has been screaming for ten minutes straight. My ears are about to explode. If someone passes near the house he's gonna call the cops. Alright, I get it. I'm coming, Lindsey. 

I get up and silently walk to her room. Do I need to knock? I guess. Lindsey screams and I open the door. She looks in my direction and screams louder. What am I supposed to do... if she screams when she sees me. I'm not gonna get closer. Is she screaming because I'm not someone from her family? If I become James would it stop? It doesn't hurt to give it a try. 

I leave her room and walk to the bathroom. How can I be James? I'm a girl...Maybe I can be Sadie? I take her peignoir, spray a bit of her perfume and tight my hair in a hair bun. Will it be sufficient? Let's hope because I can't endure her screams anymore. I walk in her room, she looks at me. Is she buying it? I slowly walk to her bed. She's shaking so much...What kind of nightmare does she have? 

"M-mom?" 

Alright, from now on and until the end of the night, I am 'mom'. But how do I play mom? Concentrate, 'Marie', you've watched enough movies to know how to do it. I place my hand on her hand and slowly rub my thumb on the back of it. That's not too bad. 

"Shh it's okay Lindsey....," I voluntarily break my voice so I can imitate Miss Miller's voice.  

She sniffles and opens her arms. What does she want? Oh no... please no I hate physical touch. I look at her, she really wants a hug. No really I can't. This doesn't make sense. I can't help someone who needs affection. I'm gonna wake James up so he can deal with this. Or should I wake Sadie up so it's not weird for her? Whatever, it doesn't matter. I stand up.

"Mom? Where are you going?"

"Shh, I'm just gonna get something to eat, alright? "

"N-no, mom, don't leave me here alone. He's still here!"

She's not gonna let me leave. And I can't take my hand out of her grip, she's too strong. Why did she have to be in the army? Guess I will have to calm her down before leaving. How do I do that? I don't even know what she's scared about! And she is shaking again...

If 'he' is still here then she sees something in this room. Something that I cannot see. So it doesn't exist, does she know that? 

"Calm down...Lindsey, sweetie, he is not real."

I can't believe I said the word 'sweetie'. I feel like Miss Denis. I only called her that because that's how Silver's mom calls her daughters. Lindsey looks at me.

"I know he's not real but he's still here! He follows me everywhere."

I have this weird feeling of deja vu. It follows her and reminds her of the accident... sounds like marie. I remember the first time she appeared, I was scared because she was there in the corner of the room just muttering things like in those horror movies. It wasn't that scary to me but I guess it's because we have different causes and different stories. Well, in my case, there's no story at all. 

I remember, marie started to be less scary when I was chasing her around because she kept running away. Will it work? But, then again, it doesn't hurt to try. It's for my precious sleep. 

"Hey, Lindsey, why don't you show me where he is?" 

"In the closet."

" Let's chase it out of there. Let's open the window and if we chase him he will get out at some point. "

I get up. Lindsey hesitate. I understand why. I'm not convincing anyone, not even me. I still have marie following me like my shadow. Who am I to give advice?  

"It's alright, Lindsey, you don't have to do it tonight. I'm gonna do it. "

I slowly walk to the closet, before opening it I look at Lindsey. She's scared but she's still looking. I open the closet door and turn to her. From her look, he's not here anymore. 

"You are very strong, Lindsey. If you chase him, he will leave you alone and never come back."

It's a lie. Doctor Myers told me that and he thought it was true because I stopped talking about marie. But I see her everyday and I never told him until last time at the pool. I don't think I should have said that to Lyndsey because James told me that it's not nice to give false hope and I hope this counts as an exception. 

"Hey mom ... can we get something to eat while you read a book and I do your hair? Like when me and James were kids."

Now I feel like an intruder. I'm not mom nor James. But if I don't do it, will it affect her state? Ugh... come on 'Marie', just a little effort. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal because the Millers had a good and long sleep. Doing my hair isn't too bad. I let the child and Satan, his little sister, do it, I can let Lindsey too. 

"Alright, let's go get some food and drinks."

As we walk to the kitchen, she explains which book she has chosen and why. Apparently it's a romance. Nobody dies or gets hurt so it won't remind her of her problems. It's understandable. We take some cake and make hot chocolate. For the rest of the night, I read a book with a broken voice while she was braiding my hair. She fell asleep two hours later after we talked about her boyfriend and the man from the book. I stayed in her room until 6 a.m before going back to mine because that's what the others usually do. One night was enough for me... no more please: I need sleep.