Chapter 4

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Tommy Pov


It was coming up on my 11th birthday and I didn't want anything special. I really wanted to be left alone, except for Sasha of course. She and I became fast friends.

Narration: I've loved two women romantically in my life. They were very different, but both were kind and tolerant enough to put up with my shit. And what was so bad is that I liked the person that I became. Every betrayal, every side deal gone bad. I relish in it so I could kill and torture. I craved it. I was a feen. I wouldn't give it up for anyone, or so I thought.

I talked to Sasha yesterday and she told me that she would be at her father's house on my birthday. I became angry and pushed her down and walked away. She was hard headed and never listened to shit anyone said.

Narrative: I'm sorry to say that later on I thought I broke Sasha, irreparably. I tried to. But she came back to me. Body and soul.

I wanted her here with me. What's so hard about that? I spend all my free time with her. I didn't even hang with my crew because she wanted me with her all the time. When I wanted her there for me, she fucking left.

I rode my bike around to the back of the gallery and let myself in. In the next second I pulled my knife out when I heard a loud shout.

"Happy Birthday!"

"What the fuck Huase."

"I take it you don't like surprises."

"Not the ones I'm unaware of."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise."

I shrugged.

"Anywho. That's neither here nor there. The crew and I wanted to give you a present. You've been working here for over a year and we thought it was time to welcome you into the gallery family. Officially."

I looked around in confusion until a pretty blonde came from the back. She looked like she was 17. I shifted uncomfortably. I'm 11 years old. What the hell was I supposed to do with a practically grown woman. She came to me and kissed me, took my hand then led me to the back room. She didn't let me out until I learned everything I needed to know about a woman. It was the best gift they could have given me.

Narration: That night, I lost my virginity to a very skilled 17 year old. She taught me how to use a condom. She taught me how to eat pussy, how to fuck and taught me all about women's erogenous zones and how to use it to my advantaged. It was the best gift I could have received. And yet, the worst one. Because she didn't teach me how to value women. I only wanted what was between their legs. No matter how much I hurt the woman that loved me. I couldn't stop fucking cheating. Eventually, that was part of my downfall as well.

After that I became a fucking tyrant. At that point I was in the sixth grade. I was in the school with the 7th and 8th graders. I fucked every girl that was giving it up. The other boys were scared of me because Hause taught me how to fight. Plus I had a mean ass crew with me. I took all their girls, fucked them, then gave them back. I was on a roll until I saw a boy talking to Sasha. Then I realized. They are trying to do the same thing to her that I have been doing to other girls. Sasha and I are in different schools now and even though she apologized for missing my birthday. I just felt like we grew apart. But I love her. She was mine. No one was touching her. I would get us back to where we were.

I walked up to Sasha and pulled her back from him. At this point I was a tall 11-year-old. I glared at the boy until he left.

"I'll walk you home."

"I don't want to go home, Tommy. I want to talk to Devonte."

Narration: See this is why she stayed getting punished. Even as a fucking kid she talked back to me and at that point I was getting tired of it.

"You wanna stay here and be a trick. Is that what you're telling me? Come on, now!"

No, das not it, Tommy. I just wanna stay here."

I walked up to her. I didn't have time for this. I had to go to work. I grabbed her arm and pulled her from the park.

I walked her home. All she did was sniffle beside me.

"What the fuck are you sniffing for. Let me tell you some." I stopped walking and turned her to face me. "You stay out of those motherfuckers' faces. If you don't respect yourself then who will."

"You're just saying that because you're just like them. All you want is to boss me around. You don't even come see me anymore."

"I will, I promise."

"When Tommy."

"Soon."

"You always say that. Ever since you went to middle school. We don't even hang anymore." She ran into her house and slammed the door.

I signal to Nan. "If she leaves, call the gallery or come get me."

"Mane, I told you to leave that chicken head alone."

"Just fucking do it, Nathan."

I made my way to work. When I arrived Hause was there with a package for me to take somewhere. I hesitated.

"What is it," Hause asked.

"I want in."

"In to what," he played dumb, insulting my intelligence while at it.

"I know what's in here and I know who you send this to. I want in." I won't even ask Hause why he sells drugs when he sells paintings for millions of dollars.

"You're too young to make that decision, kid."

"That's why I'm perfect for the job. No one will suspect me. Plus, you could cut out the middleman you sending this package to and you won't have to pay me nearly as much."

He smiled. "What about child labor laws?"

I smirked. "We don't follow the laws, remember."

"Fine. You bag it. Price it. Then find a place to sell it. Manage your time. I still need you here."

"It won't be a problem," I said, thinking about my crew. When the phone rang I already knew who it was. Sasha has left the house.

Narration: At that moment in time I didn't know what to do about Sasha. I was trying to get money and come up. Enough money to get us out the fucking ghetto and she wasn't fucking cooperating. So, what did I do, you asked. I controlled every facade of her life. She didn't make a move without me knowing. She did what I said, or else. And anybody got in the way of that, got dealt with. Even her own family. This was the come up time. 

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