Stars Around My Scars - Conrad Fisher

17. Dark Secrets

Conrad's huge smile drops. Like all of his hope and happiness disappears. What happened between he and his dad? Does Conrad know something that his dad doesn't want him to know? I mean, at least he has a dad.

"Hey Connie." Adam says. Connie looks down and doesn't speak.

Then Susannah walks in and sees Adam. Her smile fades as well. That leads me to think that Conrad isn't the only one who knows something about his father. Susannah knows too.

"Couldn't miss the fourth with my family." Adam says. Jere is smiling. Laurel is. Belly is. Susannah is but I can tell that it's fake. Then I see Conrad. He's looking at his father with an angry look on his face. The whole room goes into an awkward silence.

"Let's get back to the party!" Laurel says.

"Let's go kids." Susannah says.

We all go to walk out, I'm behind Conrad. Adam puts his hand on Connie's back.

"Hey Connie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Adam asks. Conrad walks right past him. Not a smile on his face at all. I turn the opposite way of the door and stand at the wall that divides the living room and kitchen.

"How you feeling, Suz?" Adam asks.

What? She's not sick.

"Listen, a friend of mine at Sloan Kettering said that they're starting an experimental trial soon after-" Susannah cuts him off.

"What are you doing here Adam?" Susannah asks.

"Laurel called me this morning and said, get your ass here. So I'm here." Adam says. Susannah laughs a little.

"She shouldn't have done that." Susannah says.

Adam sighs. "You didn't know." He says.

"No, I didn't." Susannah says.

Wait, Adam said experimental trial. Like a trial? Like a cancer trial? No. Susannah can't have cancer. How? It doesn't even sound like she wants to do the trial. Fuck. She's going in the same direction that my mom went. But no trial just leads to death. A trial would give her a chance to live.

Then Susannah walks out. It can't be. I need more information. While the rest of the kids are having the times of their lives on the beach, I'm going to investigate. I need to know. Will Susannah end up just like my mom?

I quietly follow Adam around all day. I keep an eye on him and Laurel. And Susannah. I need to know what's going on. Even if the information is bad.

Then I get distracted. I see Conrad and Jeremiah throwing a football. I see Conrad's athletic body throw the football. He looks happy, he looks like he loves football.

Then Adam runs in and intercepts it. I see Conrad's smile fade.

"Oh hey, I talked to Coach Walsh from Brown. He said there's a spot on summer sessions waiting for you." Adam says.

"I'm good here." Conrad says. "I gotta go dig the calm pit."

"I'll come help." Adam says.

"Why don't you go spend some time with mom?" Conrad asks. He walks away, leaving Adam speechless. Later, I go up in my room and hear footsteps. I quietly open my door and see Adam and Laurel go into the bathroom together. Ayo what? I get out of my room and stand behind the bathroom door. I listen to the conversation.

"You should of asked her." Adam says.

"Your wife is dying of cancer and you can't make it to her favorite holiday?" Laurel asks.

Then my heart drops. I was right. Susannah has cancer, just like my mom. Then I run outside, heading to the beach to think. Tears run down my face. I start crying.

On the way, I hear the outdoor shower going and I see Conrad. Shirtless. I take a glance at him but keep running for the beach.

"Hey! Mack!" Conrad says. I hear him start to follow me. Running behind me. I start to run faster and faster. Where am I really going to go?

When I get to the beach, I slow down, I stop.

"Mackenzie, what the hell?" Conrad asks. I look at him with teary eyes.

"You know, don't you?" I ask.

"I know what?" Conrad asks.

"About your mom." I say. "I-It's why your not the same. Everyone thinks it's because of your ex girlfriend but it's because your mom has cancer and you know." I say.

Then Conrad understands. He looks down. "Y-yeah. Wait, how do you know?"

"I heard Adam and Laurel talking." I say. "I-I shouldn't of listened in. But no one else's knows that you know. That's gotta be hard, Con."

Conrad nods. "Yeah." He says. His voice cracks.

"I'm so sorry Conrad." I say. I hug him. He hugs me back. He starts to cry. We both sit down on the beach and I let him cry this time. This time, he cries into my shoulder.

"Shhhh, your going to be okay." I say. "Everything is going to be fine."