Lessons on Love

See You Tomorrow

People drink when they're feeling too much of a certain emotion, gender affects when and how they feel the morning after. Men tend to drink more when they're angry while women have an increased thirst for alcohol when they're sad and feel even more depressed the day after drinking.

They drink the equivalent of how they are feeling; if someone is just a little sad they they will drink only a small amount, if they are depressed or very angry then they drink more than what they normally would.

I drink for the simple and sole purpose of not feeling a particular way, whether it was sadness or anger. It didn't matter whether the numbness and fuzz around my head and chest would only be gone for a few hours, anything was better than feeling like my heart is constantly being ripped out of my chest.

Of course, I was careful not to get too drunk.

You see, there are five kinds of drunk girls. Archetypes, if you will. I've met every kind and know the pros and cons of each but I was very familiar with three of the five.

Batchi is what we call a Happy Drunk. Girls that seem to have more and more things to laugh about as the alcohol level in their blood increases.

Wila was an Angry Drunk. Someone who loses their cool and brain-to-mouth filter when when inebriated. They scream, shout, punch, kick, and fight over the littlest, most insignificant thing.

I was admittedly a Weepy Hysterical Drunk. Yes, I was that type of drunk if I get drunk too much. Just like the Angry Drunk, the littlest things would set me off but instead of anger, I cry. I bawl my eyes out until breathing becomes difficult.

I couldn't help it. It was like alcohol makes my eye faucets malfunction.

The other types are the Girl-who-turns-into-a-stripper Drunk and the Needy Girl Drunk, which are both pretty self explanatory.

Of course that's just how Batchi and I categorize them, there are countless more that we've encountered that we've only dubbed the crazy drunks, people who turn into stuntmen or those that get really touchy. These people we try to avoid at all costs.

Drinking was always like a mini game or roulette, you never know the types of people that you were with. Some would make your night better, while others are going to inadvertently ruin it. For others, it would be that drunk guy dancing in the middle of the dance floor, holding a bottle of beer and unconsciously showering everyone within a 5 foot radius. Others would be seeing someone trying to pick their friend up, flirting and charming their way into the other person's pants.

For me, and many lipstick lesbians like myself, it's that one guy that interrupts you while you're speaking to a beautiful woman, only to hit on you.

That just pulled at my strings.

Which is why I gripped my drink tightly to stop myself from maybe punching this guy in the nose.

"Oh come on, it'll be my treat." He says as his fingers play along the strap bottom ruffle of my cream-colored top, offering the glass to me, "it's harmless."