h:our ; a txt imagines book

attention • [yeonjun]

a/n: this includes mild angst.

———

"Right person, wrong time." It doesn't exist, because the right person will make it the right time.

But what do you do when they prove every reason that they're not the right person?

•••

All your life you've been a people pleaser, making everyone happy in spite of your own shortcomings. You weren't blind, you were well up on the way people used you. Yet you stayed.

Sometimes you would end up in situations you couldn't get out of, the same way you couldn't bear to get rid of unprecedented emotions for certain people. You were tired. Exhausted from constantly being put aside.

All you wanted was to be validated, seen.

There had always been some type of friction between you and Choi Yeonjun.

Yeonjun's way of treating you made it feel so good. But it didn't make it any better that he was a friend's ex boyfriend.

It was wrong to love him, and have feelings for him at that. But his attention felt so right, and that was all you were getting from him. Things were unsaid, and you wished it stayed that way.

You were on the way to school one day, and you looked forward to seeing Yeonjun before school as he promised. He showed up, but everything just felt like it was left blank.

"Y/n, why are you so early?" He rubbed his left eye. "There's no need for this."

"You promised?" Your smile melted away.

"You would've seen me at school, you know." He stared blankly, noticing the light disappear from your eyes. "That's besides the point, I'm here now." He says, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Oh." You smiled with relief, a little relief anyway.

This was one of the bad qualities Yeonjun had, his unreliability and lack of compassion towards others who truly cared about him. And here you thought you were someone he considered special.

•••

Not long after you had finally gotten your feelings across to Yeonjun, your life had changed drastically.

The day before summer break, you had it all planned out with your small group of friends. Where you would all hangout, eat, etc. With permission from your parents you could go almost anywhere.

Oftentimes during school, you tried to be with Yeonjun as much as possible, to the extent that you made lame excuses that anybody could see through.

Until one day, your mother had picked you up from school which was out of the usual routine because she'd have work at this time. But you didn't mind as you didn't need to take the bus home.

The car was silent, packed with inept emotions you couldn't wrap your mind around.

Your mother pulls up into your driveway and tells you everything. "Your father found a better job some place else, and we have to move. Soon."

Shattered, you leave your car door open before rushing into the house. This meant leaving everything behind, this meant the start of new relationships you didn't want to have.

Later that day, you call Yeonjun over to the park where your usual hangout was. It was about 5pm, the sun was setting and all the younger kids were making their ways home.

You were sat on the swings, waiting for him to come, emotion rushing all throughout your whole being. And as soon as he came into your field of view, he gives you a wave after you did.

He looks at you and notices the red coated eyes you gave him. "Is something wrong?" He asks you.

"Yeah.. just a few things that I found out about." You reply.

"Oh, that's why you called me over?" He replied calmly, seeming as if he did not want to be here at all.

That felt like your feelings were disregarded, you being put off once again, and Yeonjun distant from you.

About 10 minutes passed of you guys having normal conversations other than comfortable silence, which was what you needed, yet you still sought the validation you knew you deserved.

You try to leave the premises but Yeonjun stops you with a hand around your wrist, urging you to look at him.

"Alright, what's wrong now?" He says with an unsatisfied look on his face.

You scoffed. "I'm the problem, I'm exhausted and done with everything. The way everyone uses me like I'm their plaything." You answered him, not holding back on your words. "I'm so sick of being here for everybody when they can't give a damn about me and it hurts even worse that I will always choose to stay."

Yeonjun stood there, mildly taken aback.

"And when you kissed me that night, I thought you cared, I thought you'd choose me. But you'll never love me the way you loved her. I know that now." Your eyes brimmed with tears.

He sighed. "I never loved her."

"Then, why? Why did you treat me this way?" Your chest heaved.

"I didn't want you to grow close to me."

"So that's why you pushed me away?" Tears choked you.

A nod. "So you wouldn't come close at all."

"Well bullshit Yeonjun, the truth is I've fallen for you and I hope you know I won't be here anymore." Pain clawed at his heart hearing your words.

"What— no, this doesn't mean you're leaving, right?" His lips quivered.

"It means what you've heard." Your heart paced faster.

You were suddenly overcome with sadness. As you knew he was just a dream you wanted to believe.

You fell in love with someone you knew was never gonna last, and you chose to stay, your desire for the right attention came from the wrong person—And nothing was gonna change that. Nothing.