Chapter 19: Heartache and Farewell

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"Are you sure about this, Freen?" Mom asked me, wearing a smile that mirrored my own. I smiled back and replied, "I've been planning this for a while now. It's now or never."

Excitement and nervousness intertwined within me. Today was the day I would confess my feelings to Becky. Mom was right; it was a now-or-never moment. With both of us heading our separate ways soon, me to Italy and her back to England, our impending separation would change everything. It seemed only right that we make a promise to each other before our paths diverged.

I stood in the intimate venue, my heart pounding in my chest as I anxiously awaited Becky's arrival. The walls were adorned with carefully arranged paintings, each capturing her side profile or capturing her beauty from various angles. The exhibition was aptly named "Admiring you from afar," a tribute to the unspoken emotions that filled my heart whenever I caught sight of her.

Finally, the moment arrived. Becky walked through the door, her eyes searching the room until they locked onto mine. Surprise and warmth flickered in her teary eyes as she stood up and smiled at me-a smile that conveyed volumes, both joy and a hint of sadness.

"You did all of this?" she asked in amazement, her gaze sweeping over the paintings. "There are so many, and they're beautiful."

"They're all for you," I replied. "I have something important to tell you."

Summoning my courage, I prepared to confess my feelings, to lay my heart bare and let her know the depth of my affection. But before I could utter a word, tears welled up in Becky's eyes, and she shook her head gently.

"Some things are better left unsaid," she whispered, her voice laced with pain.

Her words pierced through me, as if a dagger had struck my heart. A lump formed in my throat, and I mustered my strength, holding back the tears threatening to spill over. I pleaded with her, begging her to hear me out.

"Becky, please. I can't keep this inside any longer. I love you, and the thought of a life without you is unbearable."

More tears streamed down Becky's face as she reached out to hold my hand. Her touch, usually comforting, now felt bittersweet, a reminder of the divide that separated us.

"Freen, you have no idea how much it pains me to hear those words," she murmured, her voice choked with emotion. "But sometimes, love isn't enough. We live in a world that isn't ready to accept us for who we are."

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces, each fragment piercing my soul. I couldn't comprehend a reality where our love was deemed unworthy, where societal prejudices overshadowed the purity of our emotions. Yet, Becky's words resonated with the fears and doubts that had plagued me from the beginning.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I desperately pleaded with her, my voice trembling with desperation.

"Becky, I don't care what the world thinks. I can't let go of what we have, of what I feel for you. Can't we fight for our love, no matter the cost?"

Becky's gaze filled with pain, and she gently squeezed my hand. "Freen, it's not just about us. It's about the people we love, the lives we would disrupt. My parents would never understand or accept our relationship. I can't bear the thought of tearing my family apart."

I hung my head, the weight of reality crashing down upon me. It was a bitter pill to swallow, accepting that our love would remain hidden in the shadows, forever unfulfilled. "So, what now?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "Are we destined to live a life of regret and 'what ifs'?"

Becky wiped away her tears, her gaze a mix of sorrow and determination. "No, Freen. We can't let our love consume us. I can't promise that time will heal these wounds, but I can offer you friendship. Let's cherish what we have, even if it's not what we truly desire."

A bitter smile played on my lips as I nodded, my heart heavy with the knowledge that it was the only choice we had. "I accept your friendship, Becky," I replied, my voice filled with resignation.

As we bid farewell that evening, I couldn't help but wonder if my heart would ever find solace, if the ache of unrequited love would ever fade. For now, I would hold onto the fragments of our connection, cherishing the bittersweet moments we shared while silently yearning for a love that could never be.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" my mother asked the moment I arrived home.

"Love can't conquer all, Mom. I was foolish to believe it could," I said, retreating to my room to pack my things.

"Where are you going?" she asked, worry etched on her face.

"To Italy. I need to focus on my passion first before anything else. If someone asks about me, tell them I've already left."

I'm sorry. This pain won't heal if I keep seeing you. I have to leave everything behind. This time, I will choose myself.

I wish I never heard your voice before. I wish I never see you. I wish we never met.

I gazed out the window, my eyes fixed on Becky's favorite spot.

However, thank you for everything, Becky. Regardless of the outcome, thank you for teaching me how to love. Until we meet again.

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