Streets and Sheets: The B Side

Throw

July 23
1:20pm
Miami
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"You already know what I'm about to say so don't get mad when I say it." I said to my sister as I sat in my living room. I was glad that I made the decision to put a TV in here. Most of the time the TV watched me as I slipped into my thoughts or fell asleep.

"What that you still love her?" She asked.

"I do. She could show up here right now, and I will risk it all for her. I don't really care what anybody else to say about it." I said with my entire chest. I'll be here my sister love your phone. She, like everybody else thought that I was stupid but the conversations that E, and I had let me know that I wasn't. No matter what we went through. We provide each other with the level of safety that I don't think either one of us are going to want to lose.

"Is that why you try to kill her husband, twice?" She Asked bringing back memories.

"The first time that I tried to tell him they weren't together." I pointed out. At that point in time at I knew they weren't together, but the way that he addressed her, and looked at her even in my presence. Let me know that you want to her. By the time you tried to get me back, she was pregnant, and I was in a cast and on crutches.

"That's neither here nor there. I want you to have fun. I know Alex is out there. Y'all weren't always Besty's but I'm glad to see that he's helping you get adjusted out there." She said. I hadn't told my sister much about Alex, but she knew him from just being around. When he moved down south, much like Tyson, we didn't really speak. Thinking about that, it seem like I was the only who was hesitant to move.

"Everyone is saying the same thing. You your baby dad, grandma. I don't know how to have fun. I know how to be in love and fuck it up." I said. I waited for her to bring up the fact that I had only been in love once when, in fact, it was twice. I loved Jasmine, and I thought that my life was moving in a completely different direction with her. Hell, I loved Kenya.

"You were having fun with Kenya." She pointed out.

"I was until I turn complicated. Until I fell in love, but I think I was in love with the idea of her. That's neither here nor there. I have a date, not really a date. I'm going out to eat with a friend." I see you're trying to get her off of my back. I felt myself questioning all of my past decisions which would've led me to act on them in the present. Skipping the subject was best.

"A friend?" She laughed.

"My neighbor. I drunk texted her, and she ended up agreeing." I say, being honest. I thought that was a good step. I think that engage in a platonic relationship will be hard for me, but I need to do it in order to socialize.

"You mean to tell me that you drunk texted your neighbor which resulted in this date. I am sorry I mean whatever we're calling this. And that's it?" She asked. Please let me know that I spoke a little bit too freely around my sister. I know that she was expecting me to tell her about the random sex co-pays that I have been having but I truly have not been interested.

"I wake up, I work out, and do some emails on the business side and take a couple of meetings. I drink coffee now and sometimes when I'm feeling a little fly I get a Matcha. How do you things by myself. I go to the grocery store, the movies last week, and I went to the farmers market. I'm thinking about getting a dog, especially since Leila isn't here full-time." I said trying to get her to understand that I was in a different space.

"How is that going to work?" She asked.

"Lei is with me during the school year. I am going to go back up north when it's time for her to go to school. She's just involved in too many activities and all of her friends and the other side of her family is there. We just decided that it doesn't make sense for her to be pulled out and to move wherever..."