Streets and Sheets: The B Side

17. Energy

6 months later

I haven't thought about anything else but E. It hurt me to see her going through this especially because I have hurt her before. It was crippling having a front row seat knowing I had dabbled in cheating and lying before. E was always good to me and I know she was probably even better to him.

I checked my watch as I watched her car pull up next to mine. Even though I saw her earlier that day I wanted a bit more of her time.

3:00am was the time and I already knew Erin it Erica had the babies. She slid out of that big ass truck, locking it and walking over to me. I sat on my car because sitting inside of it made it hard to think. E leaned in the truck with her back facing me and her head hanging low.

"Thank you for coming to see me." I could almost see the stress radiating from her body. She simply shook her head not even lifting it.

"I needed to get out anyway." She finally perked up and turned to face me. She used her elbows to stay sturdy.

"Emerald." I wanted to look up at me. I wasn't used to seeing her so defeated and sad. I have seen her angry and I mean down right irate,which could be sexy but this... this made me want to kill him with my bare hands.

She pressed her tongue again her cheek and looked up.

"Yeah." She said at a whisper fighting the tears. I looked away from her trying to maintain my composure.

"You know I'm here for you." What I wanted to say went out of the window once I got a feel for how she was doing.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore Tay." I hopped down once she really began to cry. She frantically used her sleeve to dry the tears before they hell.

"I love my boys but sometimes I think about how different shit would have been if I would've waited to have Nasir you know? My baby ain't no mistake but if I didn't have my sister man..."

"E he was going to be who he was regardless of how many kids y'all had at the time." I broke the news to her. I was definitely being a hypocrite but in my defense I have grown up a bit.

"It's hard to just say ok nigga fuck you with two little boys. I'm being ripped in 20 different directions and all I want to do is make it disappear." Continued to fight her feelings and I could understand why.

"You're probably laughing at me." Who wants to spill the ugly part if their life to their ex nigga.

"You didn't know what you were getting in to and there ain't no one who could have prepared you for everything that came with him." I wouldn't have been able to believe half the shit I have been told about Sloane in the past few years. I knew he dipped in and out of coke but I had no idea he had real problems.

"Shits just really fucking me up." Said taking in the information.

"What can I do? What do you need from me?" I made her look at me. It seemed as if she cried harder.

"Hold me." I was surprised at her answer.

"Please Tay. Just hold me." Her chest heaved you and down as she spoke causing me to move swiftly. I didn't care about the damage she was doing to my hoodie.

"Alright alright." I wrapped both arms around me as she let it all out.

"E tell me I'm not crazy." I said low enough that she may not even here it.

"You aren't crazy." We both had energy flowing through our bodies that was undeniable. I didn't want to focus on it when she was clearly vulnerable. I rubbed her back standing in the middle of the park parking before she calmed down enough. It seemed like hours had passed as she ahead a concerning amount of tears.

"I didn't want this to turn in to a sob session." She separated from me, collecting herself slowly.

"I told I'm here for you." I told her to stop looking at the ground.

"You're stronger than that E." I hugged her again truly loathing myself for ever putting her last on my list. From the outside looking in it killed me to see.

"I'm trying, I really am." I didn't say anything because no words came to mind.

"I should go." She sniffled and twirled her keys in her hand.

"Let me know when you get home?" She shook her head before putting on that hard exterior. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away.

"I will." I watched her get in to her truck and drive away before getting back into my car. Once u started it I realize it was almost 4:30 am.

I took my time making the 25 minute drive in to a 45 minute drive. Bianca was spending the night with me and would be suspicious as to why she woke up to me down stairs. I already had an excuse loaded and ready to go.

I pulled in to the garage not even caring about the noise it would make. I managed to park without smashing my car into the wall. Closing the garage door I stretched out only wanting to close my eyes and sleep.

I walked through the house, turning the TV on waiting for E's text. I flipped through channels before scrolling through the guide. I landed on an lob black and white move before getting the text.