I Want to be Kind [-Thorfinn X Reader-] [Vinland Saga]

Father

Sunlight shone down upon my face. It was freezing even though I felt heavy wool blankets laying on top of my body. Forcing myself to open my eyes I see men snoozing around the house. Some on chairs, some on the floor, wherever they had found a comfortable place they had sat down and passed out. I look to the side of the bed where Thorfinn had fallen asleep last night besides me. He was gone, must have left when the men came into sleep.

They must have came in around early morning. None had dared to sleep in the bed with me. Majority of the men who had been around the longest with my father respected me enough to never try and touch me, a few even treating me like a little sister. And the ones who were newer to the group knew that not only would they have Askeladd and Bjorn at their throats, but they would also have the rest of the crew.

Feeling a bit of guilt that I had hogged a whole bed I slowly drew back the covers. Cold air invades my senses causing goosebumps to prickle my skin. I shivered as I stood from the bed quietly, eyeing up the hearth. The fire had gone out during the night and in its place was a pile of ash. I grab a couple logs that sat against the wall, and get a fire started. If I was going to hog a bed, the least I could do was make sure the men would be warm when they awoke.

Fire burst to life bringing warmth to the room. A smile spreads across my face, holding out my hands and warming them near the flames before scrounging around for something to eat. Seeing some cold porridge left behind by the family that used to live here, I grab the bowl and scarf down what was left of the food. Tasted like shit, but I wasn't about to waste food.

Finally I leave the house, making sure to be quiet so as to not wake anyone up I walk out into the cold winter morning. I spy the prince with his priest and Ragnar praying in front of a cross atop a mound of earth. Seeing Thorfinn sitting on a stump not far away from them I head over. "They already have them buried?" I ask him once I reach his side. He nods, cleaning his dagger.

We sit in silence, listening to them praying for the souls of those who were killed. This was the first I had witnessed Christian customs. It was odd to me as someone raised in the old Norse ways. I didn't understand why they needed to mark the grave with a cross. Especially since the whole point of burying them was to make sure their bodies weren't found.

Reaching into my pocket I pull out the ring the woman had given to me, inspecting it closer. "What's that?" Thorfinn asked, his eyes narrowing on the ring in my hands. "That woman gave me this for letting her run." I explain, offering out the ring to him. He grabs it looking it over before handing it back to me. "It's pretty. You should wear it." He tells me. I crack a smile at that and slip the ring onto my right hand ring finger.

"Stop!" Prince Canute suddenly yells out snatching our attention to where the three sat praying. "You say you doubt your father. Can you truly call yourself a christian? Have you no fear?!" He shouts at the priest pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Doubting the love of our Heavenly Father is preposterous!" He grows quiet before adding "there is.. there is no father who does not love his children." He quickly turns around and makes his leave, Ragnar following after him asking what is wrong.

"Father.." Thorfinn says, barely audible. Looking down at him he's bent over his dagger, his thumb running over the two runes engraved into it that granted good luck in battle.

Gathering my courage, I decided to finally ask him a question that has been on my mind for years. "What was your father like?" I ask him quietly. His body stiffens and I wonder if I had made the wrong decision to ask him that right now. He slowly relaxes and finally says "He was a true warrior. He didn't need a sword to win a battle, he was a kind man who wanted to live his life in peace."

I stare down at him. He hasn't looked up at me like he didn't want to see the daughter of the man who killed his father. My heart squeezes, feeling a guilt that didn't belong to me. "He didn't deserve the death he received that day. He was tricked by Askeladd.. If he had fought with honor my father would still be alive." He says tensely, finally looking up and staring me in the eyes. His own holding a fire within that raged as he recalled his fathers untimely death.

Though I had nothing to do with the murder of his father, I felt horrible for what had happened. I have begun caring for Thorfinn, and it hurts more than ever to know it was my father that has caused him pain. "I'm sorry Thorfinn." I muttered.
He stood up abruptly, surprising me. "It's not your fault (Y/N). It was never your fault. I've realized that." He tells me as he sheathed his dagger.

"But it's still-" Thorfinn cuts me off before I can finish "Nope that's enough of that." He says holding a finger up to my lips to shush me catching me off guard. Feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment he gives me a smile before adding "want to go hunting? I could go for some meat." He asks. "I... Sure. Why not." I chuckle.