I Want to be Kind [-Thorfinn X Reader-] [Vinland Saga]

You Don't Compare

Walking back in forth within my room a day later I thought about how I should tell Canute that I currently wanted to go to Ketils farm and check to see if his slave Thorfinn was the one we knew. But I wasn't exactly positive that my fiancé would be thrilled that after I finally accepted his marriage proposal I wanted to go and see if a man I had only heard about was my former lover whom I was still obviously in love with.

Glancing at Thorfinns dagger that sat on my dresser I let out a sigh. Even if he told me no I would do my best to find a way to get there, but it would be a lot easier if he agreed to let me go. I needed to convince him that this was a good ideal, and that if this was our Thorfinn I would need him to nullify our engagement. Only problem was I wasn't very good at convincing people. A trait I did not inherit from my late father.

I leave my room, making my way through the kings manor as I headed toward Canutes study. Knocking on the door I received no answer coming from inside. Wondering if he had fallen asleep at his desk I announced my entry before cracking open the door, finding it completely empty. Closing the door back into place I called for a maid down the hall, asking where the king might be. "He is in the throne room my lady, he is currently with guests at the moment." She informs.

I thank her for letting me know and send her on her way before I head off to the throne room. I thought it odd he didn't inform me of his guests as I would usually be positioned in the room guarding over him, but I needed to remind myself that I would no longer be allowed to have any position when it came to those meetings anymore. No longer allowed to guard over them, and being a woman at court would mean I wasn't needed to speak my mind.

I waited patiently outside the back entrance doors of the throne room where Canute would leave through. Wanting to talk to him as soon as he was done with his meeting. Leaning back against the wall when I hear a battle cry from the other side of the doors. Alarm bells ring off in my head at the yell, within a second I pull open the doors and rush into the throne room. Stopping in my tracks as I see the bizarre scene of Omar, ketils son who I had nicknamed tough guy. Trying to slice through a roasted pig.

He was in the middle of the room, hitting blindly at the pig that was sat on a table in front of him. Ketil and another man I knew was a captain of Canutes armies named Thorgil whom looked like a younger version of Ketil, were standing off to the side. Each held a mixture of shame and embarrassment on their faces.

Canute glances at me along with Wulf who stood to his right but neither said a word before going back to watching the boy cut at the pig. After another minute of this Canute finally spoke up "Enough, that will do." He said as he stood up from his throne. "You said your name was Omar correct? Son of Ketil. As for your request to join my armies I will consult the division captains about it tonight. Until then you may lodge here."

"Now if you don't mind I will take my leave." Canute said as he made his way to where I stood. Giving me a sharp look before leading me out, his hand lightly placed on my lower back. Not giving the three men another look before we were out of the room and on his way to his study. Me staying silent as I allowed him to guide me.

Once inside the door closing with a click, Canute turned to face me "Want to explain why you burst into my throne room just a few moments ago?" He asked, leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed. "Well I heard a man yelling at the top of his lungs. I assume that's reason enough to burst in." I reply with a frown, wondering why he would be upset at me.

He lets out a slow sigh, bringing his hand to his face as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and index finger. "As my fiancé you shouldn't be running into a situation you think is dangerous."

"I was born on the battlefield. I'm sorry my instincts tell me to do the opposite of what you want." I say, following after him and crossing my own arms. "That's not an excuse. You will soon be a queen to two countries, that's nothing to take lightly. Your safety is important." He argues back, his tone clipped.

I want to argue with him further but this was not what I had needed to talk to him for. "Fine, you win then. I will be careful." I say shaking my head and looking away from him. "I need to let you know that I think Thorfinn is still alive."

I see his body tense from out of the corner of my eye before he asks. "What makes you say that?"

"Those men you just had in your throne room. I actually met them the other day, the man Ketil mentioned he had a slave named Thorfinn. One who sounds eerily similar to ours." I explain, my gaze finding its way back to Canutes face. Ever so stoic he said "And this information is relevant why?"

I gap at him "It might be Thorfinn! What if he didn't die? He might be on that mans farm right now working in a field this moment! I need to go and see if it's him."

Canute simply shook his head "No. I won't have you run off to a random farm to check if this man is your dead lover. Which he's almost certainly not." Ice pools into my veins at his words barring me from venturing to this farm. "What if you come with me? Would you allow it then?" I ask, my words spilling out quickly.

Canute let's out a long exaggerated sigh. "You know I can't do that. I have so much work here still and with the coronation and our wedding coming up soon enough makes no time for either of us to leave." He says. My hands clenching tightly at his words. "I can't wait till after our wedding.." I say quietly which catches Canutes attention. "You would leave me if this was Thorfinn?" He questioned his eyes narrowing.

I shoot a glare back at him "Yes I would. I could easily call off this marriage if this was my Thorfinn."

"Even after all I've done for you. You still don't care about me in the same way you care about him? You would leave me for a slave?" He asked, seeming to get angrier the more he talked. "I do care about you Canute. But you'll never compare to him." I reply, a feeling of sympathy wiggling it's way into my mind. A minuscule part of me feelings sorry that I could never feel what he wanted me to.

My words seem to push him over the edge as he took a heavy breath. Anger building up underneath his skin as he said "You will not be leaving this manor. And you will not go to that farm. Now get out." His words were final as he pushed off his desk and opened the door. A guard standing outside of his door. "Escort her to her quarters. I want you to then guard the door until another man takes your shift, make sure no one leaves or enters." He ordered coldly.

I staring at Canute with a look of betrayal when he tells me to "leave.". Clenching my teeth I obey, letting the guard take me to my room. Thinking over the conversation I had just had with the king. But I wouldn't allow him to stop me, already I was figuring out a way to sneak out of this manor and this town.

Once in my room I search for essentials I would need. Grabbing a cloak, and the plainest article of clothing I owned. I would need it for when I made my escape. Tonight I would leave, as soon as the moon was high in the sky. 'Too bad you gave me a room with a window my king.' I think as I grab a satchel, shoving a few items inside, including my coin purse full of Canutes own gold.

My eyes glancing to Thorfinns dagger, I snatch it up and strap it to my waist.
Now I just needed to wait until late night, and I knew a merchant who might be willing to take me to Ketils farm.